Very Interesting and Odd Evansville Craigslist Ad for a ‘Holistic Private Investigator’ Caught My Eye

Sometimes I peruse around Evansville Craigslist and once in a while I come across an ad that really stands out. Today, I saw an ad for a Holistic Private Investigator. Okay, I'll bite. I was pleasantly surprised by what I found. Check it out!

Upfront, this is for entertainment purposes, and I am completely unlicensed.

Do you suspect your significant other of an affair? Do you have an Encyclopedia Brown/Hardy Boys level mystery? Do you think there may be supernatural or even extraterrestrial things going on?
You're probably wrong about that last one, but I will humor you. I will use inductive reasoning and any resources I can find to solve your mystery.

If you have a problem, or a mystery... or if you have a suspicion of nefarious goings on or other shenanigans I will solve it by whatever means necessary.

I will genuinely try to solve your mystery, and will use whatever the universe puts in my path. Sometimes that may take the form of me calling up random people in the phone book, or tailing people in my car for hours on end if they look suspicious. However, at the end of the day I will solve your case.

Think of me as BJ and the Bear (without the monkey,) Highway to Heaven (without the angel,) or the Incredible Hulk (without Lou Ferrigno.) Actually, none of those are terribly good analogies as I am neither a truck driver nor am I an expert in Gamma Radiation pursued by government agents and bumbling reporters.

My fee is $30 a day, and some small expenses may apply.

If you have witnessed a crime, or if you have found a body... or something to that effect, please contact the police immediately. Don't be silly seeking help from a holistic detective to solve a murder case.

Lastly, I am somewhat serious and will respond to inquiries and cases presented. My fee is non-negotiable; however expenses may be discussed. Refunds will depend on effort put into information gained. I will wear disguises and lie like crazy if it helps get the information you need... so, there's that too.