Would You Wear Janties to All the Tri-State’s Summer Concerts?
Today on a corporate call, one of our Senior Content Specialists said the word, "Janties." I could feel the distaste spilling from his mouth. I'd like for y'all to know that right now I'm living my best life! If you are thinking, "What in the heck are Janties," you are not alone. And the product will not disappoint you.
See, it's a mashup of two things that shouldn't belong together - kind of like a fashion version of Bennifer! The 'J' stands for 'jean' and the 'anties' is for... wait for it... 'panties'! JEAN PANTIES - JEAN PANTIES - JANTIES JANTIES JANTIES!
If you are like me, you are thinking' "Aint nobody gonna want no janties!" But so sorry, dear reader. You are wrongzo. According to Lyst's festival fashion report, "since mid-March the number of people looking to buy janties has skyrocketed with an increase in search traffic of 2250%." In fact, I clicked over to the brownsfashion.com to see about buying the high-waisted hot pant and look at that - there's only medium left and I GOT THE LAST ONE! Yassssss. It's just going to chill out in my cart for the next 10,000 years.
Now, before purchasing your £255 janties, hold up. I see one big problem. The reason we all love leggings (and we all love leggings) is that they are SOFT and STRETCHABLE - especially on the lady parts. No what's going to rub you like a brillo pad in July? Yeah, janties. And can you wear underwear with these? I mean, doesn't appear so unless you wear something under it like... leggings. Which looks straight up dumb. I mean, the janties on bare legs looks dumb too but... Okay, I have to stop.
So, what do you think? Have I officially entered middle-age momhood and have lost all touch with fashion reality and good taste or is the high-waisted hot jantie as freshy fresh as everyone else around the world is making them out to be? I mean who do you all think you are? Lady Gaga?
You tell me!