The Tale of the Tape: Rockin River City Ride Battle of the Bands

This Saturday April 21^st is the Evansville Junior Leagues Rockin River City Ride Battle of the Bands. Five bands from Southern Indiana will be competing for a $10K recording package as well as other prizes. It's all taking place starting at 6pm at Casino Aztar.

Personally I think "Battle of the Band" competitions should be reserved for high school kids and bands who can't get a gig anywhere else. Much to my surprise the majority of the bands performing in this battle of the bands on Saturday night really wouldn't have any trouble getting a gig anywhere else in the Tri-State. So why do a battle of the bands? I suppose a $10K recording package is enough reason to fight it out in front of a Casino behind a wall of bad sound. Giddy up!

So last night I decided to spend some time listening to all of the artists scheduled to compete at this battle of the bands in an attempt to make some sort of prediction as to the outcome of this so-called battle. I did it much like I would if I was trying to make a solid bet on a horse. This Tale of the Tape serves as my attempt to accurately predict the outcome of this coming Saturday's battle of the bands.

GHOSTS OF THE OHIO

3 beers out of 6

Biography

Ghosts of the Ohio was born in October 2010 during an unseasonably warm autumn. It is the brainchild of Dave Cummings and Nick Meeks, and a balance between the rhythmic; soul filled, blues-rock spirit of Cummings and the hypnotic, psychedelic, rumbling soundscapes of Meeks.

Genre: Rock, Blues, Experimental

Hometown: Evansville, Indiana

Influences: Queens of the Stone Age, PJ Harvey

Facebook Likes: 114

My take on the band in this competition: Ghosts of the Ohio is probably one of the most interesting bands in this competition. I think some of their music could have commercial mass appeal with the right producer. Unfortunately they don’t have any experience performing together on stage. They’re walking into this thing wearing a dirty diaper, which will undoubtedly cause them trouble as soon as they walk on the stage Saturday night. In the end I believe that diaper is going to weigh them down, making them look like amateurs, and that will cause them to lose this competition.

DANG HEATHENS

3 beers out of 6

Biography

We're here to chew gum and rock your faces off...and we're all out of gum.

Genre: Rock

Hometown: Evansville, Indiana

Influences: Wilco, Radiohead, Beck, Bob Dylan

Facebook Likes: 414

My take on the band in this competition: The Dang Heathens can win this competition provided the crowd is thirty-years old or older, and as long as they do not include garbage like “Evansville Theme Song” in their set. Their song “Jug of Tea” is the best song I’ve heard from any of the bands in the competition. Saturday evening, this band definitely has a chance to win as long as it can find a way to really connect with the audience.

CHRONO STELLARIS

1 beer out of 6

Biography

One dismal day in Evansville, IN a craigslist add was posted by best friends, geeks, & prog rockers, Zac Pirnat & Jeremy Lutz. After many attempted bands & various music projects ended without promise, they turned to Craigslist as a last resort.

Just over the Ohio River across the KY state line in the land of Henderson, things looked bleak for B-Ray Pennington, another geek & prog rocker, who had his fair share of attempted bands & projects. Bleak enough in fact, to also turn to craigslist.

It was there that this Dynamic TriForce of prog was united & dubbed, Chrono Stellaris. Rooted in Progressive Rock, with elements of Classic Rock, Metal, & Industrial, Chrono Stellaris combines atmospheric ambience, dynamic chord progressions, & eclectic melodies for a sound that is also an experience.

Genre: Progressive/Experimental

Hometown: Evansville, Indiana

Influences: Porcupine Tree, The Flashbulb, A Perfect Circle, Jimi Hendrix, Tool, NIN, Mastodon, Rush, Dream Theater, Kansas, Muse, Aphex Twin, Pendulum.

Facebook Likes: 137

My take on the band in this competition: When Chrono Stellaris takes the stage it will be one of the lowest points in the evening. This band just doesn’t have the chops to live up to the style of music they are trying to create. It’s weak, boring, and much worse. No amount of booze served will persuade this battle of the bands audience to like this band.

GENTLEMEN AND SCHOLARS

4 beers out of 6

Biography

2012 is meant to be a big year for the guys in Gentlemen and Scholars. After years of blood, sweat, and tears, these guys are still making music that they love. The road to Rock 'n Roll is a bumpy mother******, but these guys love the ride.

Look out for a brand new EP, tours, and album this year from Gentlemen and Scholars. Trust us, this year will not be boring if you're following the Gentlemen and Scholars camp.

Genre: Progressive Rock and Roll

Hometown: Evansville, Indiana

Influences: As Tall as Lions, Kings of Leon, Circa Survive, The Black Keys, Jack White

Facebook Likes: 1,070

My take on the band in this competition: I really have no use for a band like this, but it is for that very reason their chances of winning this thing are very good. The production of their demo recording tells me that they really don't need the $10K recording package. With that being said I'm not entirely sure why a band like this would choose to do a battle of the bands. Maybe they do need the $10K recording package, or maybe this band just likes to fight. If the crowd on Saturday night is primarily under the age of thirty I would bet Gentlemen and Scholars to win...even though I can't stand them.

SNEAKY PETE

1 beer out of 6

Biography

Soulful, energized rock & roll with just enough hillbilly to make it good and greasy.

Genre: American, Rock

Hometown: Huntingburg, Indiana

Influences: John Prine, The Rolling Stones, Phish, Old Crow Medicine Show, The Grateful Dead, Wilco

Facebook Likes: 232

My take on the band in this competition: Having a band like Sneaky Pete in this competition must be some kind of a joke. This band is the poster child for really bad Southern Indiana bar bands. If all goes terrible wrong and Sneaky Pete wins this competition I will have officially given up on human kind. A band like this doesn’t deserve a $10K recording package. They deserve full time jobs at the Gypsum Plant in Shoals, Indiana.