Ryan O’Bryan Checks the Success Rate of His 2014 Resolutions

Before the new year starts, I figure I should check and make sure I accomplished everything I wanted to in 2014.

I generally don't make resolutions because I know myself well enough to know that I won't follow through. Why not make following through a resolution, you ask? Because I don't care, that's why.

While I understand the mentality of making resolutions (becoming a better person, blah, blah, blah) it's just never really been my thing. If I want to change my lifestyle, I'll do it when I want, not because the calendar changed to January 1st. With that said, to keep with the spirit of "resolutions" and "conformity", I have put together a list the past couple of years of minor resolutions I knew I had a much better chance of keeping. Let's see how I did with this year's list.

I will wake up at some point after the sun rises.

SUCCESS! Even on days I didn't want to, I still found the strength to power through.

I will continue my 15 year decision making process on whether or not to get a tattoo.

SUCCESS! I overachieved on this one, finalizing the decision that I won't get one.

Despite how many people tell me it's "hilarious", I will continue to not watch "Duck Dynasty" because it's the worst show on television.

SUCCESS! Side note, why is this still on?!?!

I will not believe everything I see on Facebook.

SUCCESS! It's amazing how quickly you can learn the real story about something with a quick Google search.

I will come in like a Wrecking Ball.

FAIL! I prefer to come in like quiet thunder. Whatever that means.

I will use my membership to the YMCA more than twice. (Note: This does not mean I will necessarily "work out" in the sense of lifting weights as "The Y" has lovely pool and basketball court facilities.)

SUCCESS! My family and I went swimming there three times.

If given the choice between "going hard" or "going home", I will choose the latter.

SUCCESS! Going hard requires a lot of energy, and my bed is at home.

I will buy a new pair of sneakers, tennis shoes, or whatever the kids call them these days.

SUCCESS! Although I still don't know what the kids call them these days.

I will finally take the copy of Red Dead Redemption I bought nearly two years ago out of the wrapper and play it.

SUCCESS (Barely)! I finally started playing it during my vacation the week of December 15th.

I will finish the copy of Grand Theft Auto 4 I bought at the same time I bought Red Dead Redemption.

FAIL! It has been so long since I started the game, the thought of trying to figure out where I left off in the story is exhausting. I'll more than likely never finish it.

I will see all superhero related films on the weekends they are released. However, I will catch matinee's to save money on tickets.

FAIL! Captain America: The Winter Soldier? Check. Guardians of the Galaxy? Check. The Amazing Spiderman 2? Nope. X-Men: Days of Future Past? Na-da.

I will speak with a ridiculously thick Mexican accent when ordering food at a Mexican restaurant in an attempt to come off "cultured" and "relatable".

FAIL! I took the safe route, and ordered by the number, or pointing at the menu.

I will push my luck on yellow lights.

SUCCESS! Some were even more of an orange-ish color, or just flat-out red before I made it through the intersection.

I will end conversations with "catch you on the flip-flop" followed by a finger point, a wink of my eye, and that clicking noise you make you pop your tongue off the roof of your mouth.

SUCCESS! Despite sounding like a doofus.

I will rationalize my four-scoop bowls of ice cream at 11pm with the fact that I'm an adult and I can do whatever I want.

SUCCESS! I paid for it, I can eat it whenever I want, dammit!

Final tally: 11 out of 15 for a 73.3% completion rate, not too shabby for someone who made a list of ridiculous goals and tried to pass them off as resolutions. Now, to see what 2015 has in store.