This 4-H Mom Learned That Fair Wins Don’t Always Come in the Form of Ribbons

This week is the Warrick Co. 4-H Fair, marking my daughter's third year in 4-H and her third year competing in the horse and pony show. In the past, she shared those moments with her heart horse, Sugar. Sugs is a beloved figure at our boarding barn because she's (pardon my pun) just the sweetest thing. And she shared an incredible bond with my daughter.

Last year, we knew it was Sugie's final fair with my daughter. At over 30 years old, the heat and long days were becoming too much for her. She finished up her fair career with a barrel race win and a 20-second time which is mind-blowing for an old gal like her.

Finding a New Partner

After last year's fair, we embarked on a search for a new horse. Our priority was safety, but my daughter also wanted a horse that could offer a bit of challenge to help her grow. After visiting numerous prospects, we found Twitty, a black and white paint horse in Hopkinsville. The previous owner warned us that while he was safe for kids, he had been sitting as a pasture pet for a while and had a bit of a "get off my lawn" attitude. AKA He's not mean but always looks grouchy. He has such an animated grouch face, I made him a TikTok account solely for my own amusement.

My daughter immediately took a liking to Twitty. We made multiple visits to try him out and decided to bring him home. We renamed him Tucker and she started right away working with him. We didn't know much about his past but soon discovered he probably had a background in English riding as he was most comfortable with the tack and riding style. We also found out he didn't know the gaming patterns at all, and really enjoyed trail riding - both alone and with other horses.

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Throughout the year, she continued working with him and we attended some local open "practice" shows that offered a variety of Western and English classes and did gaming events like barrels and pole bending in the evenings. For our family, horseback riding is more than a hobby; it's a bonding experience and a way to impart life lessons to our daughter. We have no aspirations of going pro or even competing beyond the local level, so fair week is a particularly special time for us all.

Now, I must say, she really cleaned up at her first two fair shows with her experienced partner, Sug. She worked tirelessly, and both years she earned the high point title, a source of immense pride. This year, however, we knew things might unfold differently.

Read More: What a New 4-H Mom Learned at Our First County Fair 

Fair was a bit of a rollercoaster this year. Not only was she battling a severe allergic skin reaction and a cold, but show day itself had its fair share of highs and lows. Tucker, well, he's cut from the same cloth as his girl. They both have a ton of potential and personality, and they both operate on their own terms.

This was her inaugural year in the walk/trot/canter classes, moving up from just walk/trot, and diving into the English classes for the first time—something we hadn't quite had the time to focus on this year. And the competition was the most challenging that it's ever been.

Of course, there were disappointments. Moments when she reminisced about how effortless it all seemed last year with her heart horse. Times when she contemplated throwing in the towel because Tucker was being a handful and she doubted her own abilities. But then there were those shining moments, too. Times when they dazzled brighter than ever before.

Any 4-H kid will tell you that animals aren't machines. They have their own thoughts, opinions, strengths, and weaknesses. They make their own choices. They demand time and patience, and even the best ones will break your heart from time to time. The proudest moment of my day was watching her reassure Tucker after they bombed their barrel pattern and she missed her flag—two of her favorite events. But they bounced back with a win in pole bending. When gaming rolled around, she had finally relaxed and reminded herself that it's fair - and just for fun.

It's About the Life Lessons

As a parent, it's tough watching your kid navigate struggles. But the smallest victories are all the more precious when they've fought tooth and nail for them. There were times when she didn't win the class but came in smiling because it was the best ride he'd ever given and she knew it was because of the endless amounts of practice. And the biggest lesson is one that I'm learning right along with her—loving the challenging ones through it all and never giving up on them. It's why we persist.

As part of her 4H horse project, she tracked the hours spent at the barn this past year. I've made over 200 trips to Double M Stables and spent over 600 hours of my life in that place. We've had countless arguments and moments of frustration. There have been days when she threw her hands up and told me she was ready to focus solely on soccer. There have been days when I almost listed Tucker for sale because I was at my wit's end with her. Make no mistake, she's MY Tucker—stubborn, independent, and marching to her own beat. Yet, I adore her and am endlessly proud of her. Endlessly proud of them both.

She didn't take home the high point trophy this year and I can't say Tucker will ever be a great showhorse. Someday, we'll move on to bigger, stronger horses that excel in the direction she wants to pursue. But Fair 2024 was full of life lessons and I wouldn't change a thing for her.

Photos by Laura Stoltz Photography