There are countless varieties of food that are universally loved by nearly everyone. The key word of that sentence being "nearly". Everyone's taste is different, and despite the public's affection, there are several (12 to be exact) that I just can't stand.

I learned the hard way recently that I am in the minority when it comes to my disdain for the rye chips inside a bag of Chex Mix when I shared the following photo on my Facebook page.

If you'll notice, there were 44 comments, and about three of them took my side. The rest? Well, they went something like this —

My favorite part of Chex mix

 

That's the only reason I buy chex mix

 

I think you're the odd ball Ryan!

 

You are wrong!!!

 

Those are the best!

 

They are my favorites

 

BLASPHEMY.

 

You are dead to me!

 

You shut your w***e mouth Ryan O'Bryan!!!!

 

Are you a savage?

Notice the pattern? They start out politely enough with rye chip lovers defending their beloved snack, then, slowly they turned. Vilifying me as some sort of twisted freak who wouldn't know a delicious snack if it punched him in the mouth.

Instead of attempting to defend myself, or be persuaded to re-evaluate my position, I've decided to make a full heel turn. Like Shawn Michaels dropping a super kick on Marty Jennety, or Hulk Hogan trading the iconic red and yellow garb for the black and white of the N.W.O., I'm embracing my roll as the bad guy. Feeding on the negative vibes like so many feed on their precious rye chips.

And why stop at rye chips? There's so many other foods people love that I can't stand. For example...

  • Pineapple
  • Watermelon (melons in general)
  • Tomatoes
  • Candy Corn
  • Peaches
  • Coconut
  • Pumpkin Pie
  • Pecan Pie
  • Green Apple Flavored Candy
  • Licorice
  • Cucumber
  • Caramel

That's right, if any of these foods you hold so dear touch my tongue, I'll promptly spit them out onto the ground and stomp them into oblivion, manically laughing the entire time.

So bring me your hate. I'll dip it in ranch dressing and devour whole.