So, let me give you a little back story first.

After pushing a 9-pounder out last year, the docs told me to take is easy (if you know what I mean) for about 6 weeks. Turns out, I'd need much, much longer than that, but that's a different story. It was also recommended to use a little "help" when the 6 weeks was up to make things...smoother. Are you following?


So, I went to the store when the time was up and asked the lady at the counter what she thought would work best for me. She recommended a water-based lubricant that was free of any perfumes or sensations. I can't exactly tell you what it's called, because it's explicit, but I can tell you it did help.

Like my son, I also have a "toy box". It happens to be in my bedside table drawer for easy access. I assume this is where most adults have their toy box as well.

Recently, my son has learned how to open drawers. Yay. So I've had to keep his grimy little hands out of my bedside table, but eventually gave up and moved my toy box to a new location. I didn't notice anything missing during the move, so I considered it successful.


I'm about to get on a conference call for work. I'm FaceTiming into the meeting from home because I couldn't find a babysitter. In a desperate attempt to keep my kid quiet during my call, I scramble through his toy box to find a few of his favorites to keep him entertained.

And low and behold....


Can you spot the toy that doesn't belong?

Yep. That's my lube. In my kid's toy box. For the world to see.



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