Why Do Birds Always Seem to Poop on Red Cars and Trucks?

That's my car.  Yes. That's Fred the Fusion.  Poor Fred seems to be the Porta Potty for EVERY. SINGLE. BIRD. on the west side of Owensboro. And the crazy thing is this. Kevin and I have two other vehicles- a white Dodge Ram and a silver Kia Telluride. They don't look anything like poor Fred, who has been figuratively and literally dumped on from every single direction.

Here's EXHIBIT B!

And here's EXHIBIT C.

The hood isn't much better. I present EXHIBIT D.

Okay, I am pretty sure I need to get Fred the Fusion to the car wash quickly before he comes down with a nasty bird poo-induced case of Histoplasmosis.

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When I walked out to the driveway earlier this week and found Fred looking like he hadn't squeezed the Charmin, I started to wonder why the birds always seem to drop trou on him.  Why Fred? Then, I remembered. When I was in high school, I had a red Mercury Topaz too and it was always a target for a not-so friendly game of Bird Butt Darts.

So, I looked it up.  As it turns out, there may be a scientific/zoological reason that birds take aim on red vehicles. I searched online and found results from what may be the most random British survey in the history of erect man. I found those results on the website Cars from Japan, which provided this summary:

A study conducted with more than 1000 cars revealed that 18% of the poop felt on red cars, 14% on blue, 11% on black, 7% on white, 3% on grey and silver cars, and 1% on green cars. In short, birds preferred the red color as compared to others as the place to let go.

A ha! It was I suspected. However, while those results seem to confirm my suspicions, they don't necessarily explain why Fred the Fusion is the bird population's favorite unisex restroom.

MotorBiscuit tackled those survey findings too and elaborated to explain why birds prefer certain colors. Of course, I am most concerned with the color red. The reason that specific color is so attractive to a bird's eye (and ass) . . .

Cars with a red color are the most common target of birds since red is the color of some ripened fruits, such as berries. 

That makes sense, right?

But not everyone agrees that birds have the ability to pick a favorite place to pop a squat. Or, I suppose in their case, to drop a squat.

Is there any way at all to prevent birds from pooping on your car or at least politely suggest they release the Butt Kraken somewhere else?

This random YouTuber named Rog from the Garage has an interesting suggestion/hack. According to Rog, all you need's a Kroger bag or two.

Here's another suggestion. This one comes courtesy of the Automotive Woman. Her hack doesn't require plastic bags. She uses plastic snakes!