Normally, I talk about my kids relatively rarely in a public setting. However, lately, I've been thinking of sharing with all of you more of what my kids do and how they are. I want to do this mainly to show you, parents, out there that we all have kid problems. Sometimes, we have HUGE kid problems. So, today, I'd like to share the story of the toddler, the preschooler, and the disappearing Sharpie. Yes, that's how it starts. Therefore, you know something is going to go terribly, terribly wrong.

It's 8:58 pm last night when I hear my husband bellow at the children (who had been in bed since 7 pm but refused to sleep): WHO HAS THE MARKER?!

At this question, I as an exhausted mother had to make a decision: Do I stay in bed, or do I get up and help? After a particularly long day, I decided there was no way in hell I was entering that bedroom. Here's what ensued.

"Who has the marker?" my husband yells.

Both kids stay silent for a moment, and then the preschooler speaks.

"He started it," the 5-year-old says, pointing to his two-year-old brother.

The amusing part of this scenario is, unbeknownst to me until this morning, the 5-year-old answers his father while coated in black permanent marker from his face down to his belly button.

It gets quiet, and I attempt to drift into sleep.

"Stop gagging!" I hear my husband say, as my 5-year-old gags.

"Why would he be gagging?" I yell from the other room.

"Because he doesn't like the smell of this witch hazel I'm using to clean him off," my husband replies.

Fair enough.

I drift off to sleep and wake up this morning to see that my oldest son still has faint letters written on his stomach. I suddenly realize they didn't just have a marker last night, they had a permanent marker. Another thing I was not aware of was that the drawing did not stop at just their bodies.

As I go to get their clothes for the day, I find that the door, baby gate, wall, and bed have all been defaced with Sharpie graffiti. The kicker to the story? Remember in the very beginning when the 5-year-old's defense was "He started it."? Here's a photo of their bedroom door:

Sharpie Stop, photo by Sunny Richardson
Sharpie Stop, photo by Sunny Richardson
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Since my two-year-old doesn't even know all of his letters yet, I highly doubt he wrote "STOP SAM" in perfect lettering across the white bedroom door. I also now doubt the validity of the 5-year-old's defense of, "He started it."

We all as parents have incidents like these. Sometimes multiple incidents occur in one day. This, in turn, makes us feel like crazy psychopaths who just want their kids to behave and shut up! However, at the end of the day remember these two things:

1) You love them.

2) Kids are gonna be kids. Someday most of these stories we will find to be quite amusing, keyword there being SOMEDAY.

Right now, I'm currently trying to figure out how to get Sharpie marker off of the door. If anyone knows how, please let me know. I'll be needing all the help I can get!