Stop Using Harry Potter’s “Unbreakable Vow” Chapter To Propose, You Uninspired Muggle!
For the love of Hogwarts, stop it!
With Valentine's Day happening tomorrow, you might be thinking about proposing to your partner. Now, I've already talked about what a bad idea it is to propose on a holiday, but here you are, thinking about proposing on the greeting card and chocolate celebration day. Since there's no talking you out of it, congrats or whatever. However, no matter how original you think you're being, don't cut up Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and shove a ring in the "Unbreakable Vow" chapter.
If you noticed the dates on those, you'll realize that its no longer 2014 and you're late to the Harry Potter proposal game. This proposal has also sparked a market on Etsy for hollowed out books. Seriously. And yeah, you read that price correctly: You can pay someone on the internet $150 to buy a $30 hardcover book (or $16.49 on Amazon), cut a hole in it, and add some ribbon, all for a $120 upcharge! That's a fantastic deal just to do something other people have already done!
The biggest issue that most Potter fans have with this, is that the chapter "The Unbreakable Vow" has NOTHING to do with marriage at all. No, the chapter has to do with Narcissa Malfoy making a vow with Snape for him to kill Dumbledore so that Draco doesn't have to. When you propose using this chapter, you're asking your lover to be yours forever and possibly kill a beloved headmaster of a wizard school so your son doesn't have to! How romantic! *swoons*
In conclusion, make your proposal something special between the two of you. Yeah, maybe you both love Harry Potter and that's how you met and you plan on naming your first kid after Quidditch commentator Lee Jordan, but don't do the above proposal. I highly recommend the Harry Potter proposal of tearing your partners soul into seven Horcruxes and/or proposing after hooking up in the Room of Requirement. Or you could just propose in a non-Harry Potter way such as after a romantic dinner or outside the hospital after you find out you're having an unplanned baby. Just like how mom and dad did it!
Happy Valentine's Day or whatever the Harry Potter equivalent is.
Oh wait, it's just Valentine's Day? Oh, well ok then. Thank you for yelling at your computers, nerds (said with love of course).