Parody Site Claims Bigfoot Fathered KY Woman’s Child
Did Kentucky adopt Bigfoot as its official state cryptid when I wasn't looking? I see Kentucky stories about Bigfoot all the time anymore. As a matter of fact, I have a t-shirt from the Western Kentucky Regional Blood Center with Bigfoot's silhouette on it.
See that? The big guy is listed with barbecue, basketball, banjos, and bluegrass as things that are, you know, definitively "Kentucky." There's even something called the Kentucky Bigfoot Research Association whose mission statement is as follows:
The Kentucky Bigfoot Research Organization is a non-kill research organization which seeks to prove the existence of and protect these magnificent creatures. Our purpose is to document all credible bigfoot sightings in Kentucky. Our mission is to obtain a database as to monitor population density and migration patterns for all reported Kentucky Bigfoot encounters. We believe bigfoot to be a yet-to-be classified, unidentified hominid.
Bigfoot Is Big Business in Kentucky
And it seemingly documents everything:
You know, I've never totally discounted his, her, or THEIR existence. There are plenty of creatures on this planet yet to be discovered for a number of reasons. And Bigfoot and their ilk could be among them. Not saying they exist; not saying they don't.
And we could seriously be here all day posting accounts of Bigfoot sightings, or at least the presence of suspicious footprints:
Parody Site Claims Bigfoot Impregnated Paducah KY Woman
Naturally, Bigfoot and its accompanying folklore are ripe for comedy. The parody site known as The Paducah Insider, in particular, has gone out of its way to tickle our funny bones with the tale of a woman who was impregnated by Bigfoot.
Hilarious. Ingenious. So deadpan, which is perfect. My favorite part? The point at which--in a PARODY story, remember--the writer admits to the woman's account as being far-fetched. That's like some self-referential Scream writing. My second-favorite part? The last phrase..."this is a developing story."
My first creative writing exercise was assigned to me in fourth grade. I would have given anything if I'd come up with something HALF as clever and funny as what this author did.
In the meantime, investigators will keep investigating and, hopefully, writers like this one will keep writing. What's next? Bigfoot visits the National Quilt Museum? I mean, it IS in Paducah.