Mortal Kombat: Annihilation – The Best Waste of 94 Mins You Can Spend

While browsing the endless sea of Netflix options with the ladyfriend last night, we decided to subject ourselves to the cinematic disasterpiece known as "Mortal Kombat: Annihilation."

I'm a huge fan of the video game series (and the pretty terrible first film, Mortal Kombat), but somehow I missed the 1997 sequel to the film. I had heard how bad it was but I was unable to prepare my body for just how bad it actually is.

The movie picks up exactly where the first ended but you'd be hard-pressed to tell considering only two of the main actors are the same. I'd say their names but you aren't going to look them up (and they really didn't do anything else) so why bother? That's how the film treats everyone, so why not treat this amazingly terrible endorsement of the film the same way.

If you've ever wondered what a film would look like if it were created by a child who doesn't have the slightest grasp on filmmaking, special effects, or even a vague concept of what "not terrible" is, this is the film for you. The movie was clearly made for fans of the video game series as made apparent by the amount of characters from the game appearing in the film. "Oh wow, purple-ninja Rain is in the movie?! That's awesome!" is something someone might have said back in 1997, until that character is immediately punched into poorly rendered CGI fire. There is also an entire subplot where Liu Kang (a main character or whatever) goes to a Native American named Nightwolf so he can learn the power of the "Animality." How do I know it's called an Animality? Nightwolf turns into a wolf and then asks Liu Kang "That's my Animality, pretty cool, right?" No, not cool, it looks terrible. You're CGI is bad and you should feel bad. How bad are we talking? Check out this "Animality"

Someone got paid money to create that. I know the movie came out in 1997 but c'mon, Star Wars came out in '77 and doesn't look like complete booty. Also, dragons don't count as animals and that is a stance I am not moving from.

The acting is so terribly cheesy that it makes you wonder if the actors actually have anyconcept of what acting is. Granted, they didn't have a lot to work with, but still, try to make the best out of this poop-sandwich. The movie is supposed to be a martial arts action film but the martial arts mainly consists of just flipping. That's not martial arts: that's terrible gymnastics.

However, with all the ranting and raving I'm doing, I still recommend this film because I haven't laughed that much in a very long time. The movie is soooooooo bad that it becomes soooooooo good without even realizing it. It's amazing. If you need a good laugh or just want to punish your children for something, pull up Mortal Kombat: Annihilation on Netflix and they will never misbehave again!