Contest the theory if you will, but America's best bar is somewhere just out of frame at HSN's studios. A backstage supply closet, maybe!

Last night (September 17), Jessica Simpson, a brand (?), peddled her "Kiss Me" Super Skinny Gray Jean on the shopping network for the low, low price of $59 — or three flex-pay installments of $19.67!!! Oh, and maybe she prepared for the segment by performing seven consecutive keg stands with the studio's late-night custodial staff.

"Ashlee is, like, the best at wearing gray—my sister!" Jessica Simpson — who pets the denim in question as if it's a neglected rescue — pitches to throngs of audiences above. But Jessica Simpson has more to say about the "Kiss Me" Super Skinny Gray Jean than that!

"There is something about a gray that's sexy — maybe it's her and her husband that share jeans."

Maybe it's her and her husband that share jeans!

So did lots of people buy the jeans? Who knows, but lots of people certainly talked about them on Twitter.

"I wish I could send out one of those flash flood warnings to tell everyone to tune into HSN and watch this train wreck. ," said @KevyCoco while @grantctgurl4eva noted "She'll wake up tomorrow hung over and richer! ."

More hearteningly, @beauty_buff considered "It's great that her sizes range from 2-24. Awesome!"

The new look for fall is maybe-drunk Jessica Simpson's "Kiss Me" Super Skinny Gray Jean.

See celebs step out sans makeup:

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