My Grandmother Passed Her Curse Down to Me
The Curse Follows Me Like a Shadow
Every. Single. Day. I'm reminded of this curse that has lingered after my family for generations. It never leaves my side - following me like my shadow. I'll never rid myself of it. And I'm learning to accept it day by day.
She Was Cursed Too
When I was a kid, I spent summers at my grandmother's house in Wisconsin. I had so many fun memories of life on the non-operational dairy farm. There were creeks and ponds and wide-open fields and woods to explore - just watch out for bears and wolves. I had plenty of friends and there were always town events going on. It was magical.
Part of the magic was my grandma. She loved recipes and cooking and talking on the phone in her "telephone voice." She called me "Toots" and let me keep kittens that showed up in the barn. Little did I know she harbored a deep - dark - secret.
When Did It Start?
When I got to about age 24 or 25, I started noticing a change in myself. Before that age, I didn't care how messy my room or apartment was. I didn't care if old dishes grew mold for months. I didn't care if my clothes lined every square inch of my floor. I didn't care if my bed was ever made. Sheer bliss.
But when true adulthood hit (and yes, you are still a kid from age 18-24) I started caring about how my home looked. Little-by-little dusting was no longer the chore I was forced to do on Saturday mornings. I started making my bed on days that I didn't plan on having company over. I even started cooking on the reg and having to clean up the kitchen so that I could use the same pots and pans the next night.
About six months into my newfound adulthood I started feeling overwhelmed and completely buried every day by the amount of picking up and cleaning and chores that I had to do to keep up with life. And I also noticed that no matter how much I cleaned, it always still seemed dirty.
I CLEAN AND I CLEAN AND I CLEAN AND GET ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE!
Must Be THE HILGART CURSE
I shared these feelings with my mother and she very casually said, "Oh yes - the curse."
Curse? What curse?
She told me that she and my grandmother had the same problem. You clean and clean and clean and get nowhere. It's still dirty.
I go to friends' houses and they have a well-manicured home. I come home and though I quite literally spend every spare moment of my life doing dishes and dusting and scrubbing floors and doing laundry, I get it all done and I turn around and a cat has puked on the floor and a kid has dumped Legos on the couch and a plant has drained dirt water everywhere and milk has spilled in the fridge and someone made a PB&J and not only left out everything they used to make the sandwich but also unknowingly (ya right) smeared peanut butter and jelly all around the windows in the dining room. You know, just random crap that gets dirty out of the blue for NO GOOD REASON.
These are all literally messes I woke up to.
It's the curse.
So, I don't know which one of my ancestors angered a witch and she hexed us with a no good, very bad hex but, listen, I AM SORRY. For to love, PLEASE FREE ME FROM THIS CURSE!
I just want my house to be clean, even for like a day.
IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!