Freddy’s Frozen Custard and Steakburgers – Petty Reviews of the Tri-State

Someone wasn't very happy that a dog was present at Freddy's!

As soon as this review was posted on Tri-State Restaurant Reviews, my phone lit up with people asking me to do a Petty Review feature on it. Because I am a man of the people (or at least the four people who regularly read this column), I was happy to oblige.

This review took place at the recently opened Freddy's Frozen Custard and Steakburgers in Evansville. However, this time, the food wasn't on trial. Instead, the reviewer took issue with a particular patron. As always, reviews are 100% real and 100% petty AF.

How dare that patron bring their dog to Freddy's and eat outside! I have no idea what this reviewer was trying to accomplish by taking this commentary to the trailblazers that are Tri-State Restaurant Reviews, but this is a non-problem. The dog was outside, which is typically where dogs are allowed. With the way the reviewer was talking, you'd think this dog was working the deep-fryer with the flu and not wearing a hairnet. It was a nice night, this dog owner (who appears to be a teen) was probably taking his dog for a walk and got hungry. They sat outside and shared some fries. That's ADORABLE. Oh, and the dog was licking fries off of the outside table, not your table.

Normally, I don't reveal things about the reviewers in question. I tend not to combat their pettiness with my own, but the reviewer in question was sporting this haircut...

Suddenly, everything makes sense...

The best part of this "review," is how they tried to hide what the restaurant was. However, those with a keen-eye may have already spotted how I figured out where they were talking about. If not, put on your Spy Kids glasses and yell "ENHANCE!"

via GIPHY

And there it is. If you want to keep a restaurant anonymous (even though saying where it is would probably help your rectify your complaint), maybe not have the business name in your photo? That's like trying to hide that you're at McDonald's while posing for a photo with the Grimace (who's eating a Big Mac) while an employee is trying to fix the always f***ing broken ice cream machine in the background.

My favorite part of all of this, is the expression on the dogs face. Once again, let's enhance!

That is a dog that is saying "Yeah, I'm a dog, and yeah, I'm eating at this place of business. Take my photo, I dare ya, I double dog dare ya." In my mind, all dogs have the personality of Samuel L. Jackson. This dog could not give a fuggggggg about this person trying to shame him. He looks fly as hell in his sweater and he's out on the town. If you're first instinct of looking at this photo isn't "I want to party with this dog," you are wrong.

Basically, reviewer, you are wrong. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna try to hang out with this dapper fellow. (Seriously, if you know who this dog belongs to, I'd love to take a photo with him/her).