Charlie’s Mongolian BBQ – Petty Reviews of the Tri-State

Yep, someone didn't enjoy Charlie's Mongolian BBQ, which I didn't think was possible.

It's Monday which means it's time to get PETTY! I continue the Petty Review series with another restaurant review from the Tri-State Restaurant Review Facebook group. At this point, that group is investing in pitchforks and torches and someone is practicing screaming "WE KILL THE BEAST" before marching on my castle crappy house.

This week, the eating establishment is Charlie's Mongolian BBQ, which has been known to cause mouthgasms of deliciousness. As always, reviews are 100% real and 100% petty AF.

Let us begin the Tale of Flavorless Mongolian BBQ... I love how hot this reviewer comes at Charlie's by saying how "completely obvious" it was that the flavors had been watered down. I assume this particular patron has a set of PH tests strips on them at all time just to check the balance of various sauces.

"MY GOD, THIS KETCHUP IS PREGNANT!"

The reviewer went all-in on the watered down accusation going as far as to call it a cost-cutting measure. Uhhh, why would Charlie's have to cut costs? That place is always bangin' and people love it. My favorite part of the review is the patron had to add their own flavoring yet never specifies what flavor. I assume that someone with such a refined pallet that can identify the watered-downness of sauces probably just dumped salt and Taco Bell Fire Sauce on it and called The Food Network asking to be featured. Also, just because a particular food may not be as flavorful as you might like, that doesn't make it inedible. It's still food, maybe a tad bland, but it's still food. It didn't turn into a clown dong or a plate of spiders with HPV.

With a nice marinade, we could make this work...

In a lot of reviews, the reviewer always has to end by saying they won't go back or won't be back for a long time. Here is a fun fact: I worked retail for almost 10 years, whenever a customer would say something like that, I would jump for joy. I'd rather someone who doesn't complain about every damn thing enjoy the service I was providing. I'm sure Charlie's (and their mouthgasms of deliciousness) feels the same way.