Were You a Bedroom Kid, a Living Room Kid, or an Outside Kid Growing Up?

The TikTok 'bedroom kid vs. living room kid' debate is everywhere right now, and it made me think about both my own and my daughters' childhoods.

Were You a Bedroom Kid or a Living Room Kid Growing Up?

I have a lot of vivid memories of my bedroom as a kid.

I grew up in a small house. With only about 1,500 square feet for four people on one level, you tend to be on top of each other. I felt suffocated all the time. So I spent most of my free time in my bedroom with the door closed.

I'd blast my Alanis Morissette CDs, although I always made sure to turn the volume down for that one word in "You Oughta Know." My room was messy, chaotic, and completely mine. I loved having my own private retreat.

My parents wouldn't let me have a phone, computer, or TV in my room when I was younger because they knew I'd never come out except to eat. So I was forced to socialize.

For the record, I'm a classic introvert and what people now call a "bedroom kid."

a woman standing next to a record player

My Daughter Is the Complete Opposite

Half the time I can't even watch my murder shows because she's always hanging out in the living room. She has a TV, a phone, and a school computer at her fingertips, yet she chooses to be right in the middle of whatever I'm doing.

She even tries to sleep on the couch every single night. I have to make her go sleep in her bedroom. She's an extroverted "living room kid."

I'm a "bedroom kid" raising a "livingroom kid" and apparently I'm not alone. According to an article by Huffpost, there are a lot of us out there. They interviewed clinical psychologist Amber Thornton, who is a bedroom kid raising a living room kid. She attributes much of the reason that there's a shift from bedroom kids to living room kids is caused by the difference in parenting styles of Boomers and Millennials. Boomers had harsher parenting styles and now she says, “There’s an increase in comfort.”

Family having a pillow fight on the couch.

What Is a Living Room and Bedroom Kid?

Apparently, the whole living room kid versus bedroom kid debate is a real thing.

Popularized by TikTok creators, where kids choose to spend their time, has become a conversation about family dynamics. The podcast How Married Are You describes living room kids as loud, goofy, and comfortable hanging out in shared family spaces. Bedroom kids, on the other hand, often retreat to their rooms because that's where they feel most comfortable.

Now, hold on a second.

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I don't think my living room was ever an unsafe space, and I certainly never felt like I didn't belong there. For me, it was simply an introvert thing. I liked being alone. That's how I recharged my batteries.

Thorton agreed. In the interview, she noted that "highly sensitive or neurodivergent children can become overstimulated and may value time alone to unwind or process information, and creative or artistic children often like to spend time listening to music, engaging in solo creative projects or simply letting their minds wander."

girl in white sweater and blue denim jeans sitting on floor

Sometimes It Changes With Age

There are a lot of factors that play into it.

My bedroom kid years became more pronounced as I got older, especially during my teen years. Interestingly, my very living room kid has started spending more time in her room now that she's a teenager.

When she was little, she'd drag every toy she owned into the living room and leave it there. These days, she's more likely to retreat to her room during the school year when she needs quiet time to focus on homework.

So maybe some kids naturally lean one way or the other, but age definitely seems to play a role, too.

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Don't Forget About Outside Kids

I'm also going to throw a wrench into this conversation because I think there's a third category we don't see as much anymore.

The outside, or "free range" kid.

My husband was the definition of an outside kid. It didn't matter what the weather was doing. He'd hop on his bike and disappear for the day. His parents practically had to drag him home at night.

He was busy doing what kids in the 1980s did. Exploring, riding bikes, building forts, and staying outside until the streetlights came on. I feel like outside kids have become a little more rare these days, but they definitely still exist.

a boy riding a bicycle

What Kind of Kid Were You?

So what about your family? Do you have living room kids, bedroom kids, outside kids, or a mix of all three? And what were you growing up?