Ashley Furniture Homestore – Petty Reviews of the Tri-State

Get comfortable as this weeks Petty Review is about a couch!

I was sort of at a loss for this weeks edition of Petty Reviews. I never want the feature to feel forced or to get old. It could happen, heck, it could already be happening. But today I happened to stumble upon a petty review that was accompanied by a photo and knew that I had to do it. Also, it wasn't a restaurant which is always a nice change. This week's pretty review is about Ashley Homestore. As always, reviews are 100% real and 100% petty AF.

Yep, this review is lacking in words but says so much. 4 year old couch and got no help from Ashley Furniture? Won't go back there again? What does any of this actually mean? What help was he looking for? Did Ashley Furniture not send this couch a birthday cake when it turned 4? So many questions left unanswered!

You're so grown up now. I remember when you were just a loveseat!

Actually, they did post this picture to go along with the post:

Even with that picture, we still don't know what's going on. Did an animal do this? Was their some sort of 50 Shades of Grey lovemaking that says you can't stop until the couch is screaming a safe word? Perhaps this couch contracted leprosy while visiting a foreign land. If you want to leave a review, you need to do more than just post a photo and say they didn't help you.

Also, the couch is 4 years old. Unless they bought a warranty with the couch (which I 100% guarantee the reviewer didn't), what do you expect them to do? Take back an old couch that may have had Lord knows what activities on it? That's ridiculous.

I worked retail for several horrible years and I encountered people like this on an almost daily basis. People are more willing to place the blame on the store they bought the couch from as opposed to realizing that maybe, just maybe, they bought a garbage couch and now that garbage couch is realizing its potential as garbage.

"This dumpster doesn't recline like it used to."

To the reviewer of Ashley Furniture, just cut your losses and get a new couch. Or at least better explain yourself so people like me won't make fun of you online. Enjoy your forever shedding sex couch!