I see you, lady. I see you, walking down the street dragging one kid by the hand while wheeling another kid in a stroller who’s screaming about God knows what. I see you, looking tired and stressed, anxious and alone. I promise you though, you are not alone. I see you, because I am you. People really don’t understand the mental capacity it takes to raise a toddler. Out of about a billion mom struggles to choose from, I’ve narrowed down our motherly struggles to just thirteen (for today). Here are those thirteen mom struggles for moms with toddlers:

1. The ‘Uh-Oh!’ Game
No one hates the ‘Uh-oh’ game more than I do. “Mommy, uh-oh,” they say slyly as they rocket their entire dinner plate across the room onto the floor. To them, it’s hilarious. Meanwhile you’re restraining yourself from screaming as loudly as your lungs will allow. Not to mention, the ‘Uh-oh’ game is played multiple times a day and lasts for several months.

2. Never Peeing Alone
Fun fact: I have not peed alone in the last five years. Even this morning, I went to take my morning bathroom break and within 30 seconds one kid is screaming at the door for breakfast and the other has brought a fleet of Paw Patrol toys into the bathroom and continues to play on the floor with them in front of the toilet like it’s no big deal. GET OUT!

3. Hearing “I’m Hungry” 500 Times a Day
“I’m hungry,” is one of the most repeated phrases in a household with toddlers. Hungry ranges from, “It’s dinner time, and I’m hungry,” to, “I found this old gummy bear on the floor of Chuck E Cheese and I’ve made the decision to eat it and I need more now.” Often times, the child will just have eaten an entire meal and then say, “Hungry!” Metabolisms on hyper-drive for these kids, and us mom’s are just wishing we could eat like that and not gain ten thousand pounds.

4. The Bloody Murder Scream
Most toddlers at one time or another, or repeatedly, scream bloody murder for completely asinine reasons. Did you accidentally give them their favorite Mickey Mouse and they wanted Chase from Paw Patrol Instead? Queue the murderous scream. It’s almost enough to drive a mom into bloody murder screams of her own.

5. Puke
Vomit. So much vomit. Little children build up their immune systems during the toddler years, which unfortunately means a lot of illness. The problem with toddler puke is that, besides the fact that it is puke, it is absolutely projectile and unruly puke. They have no concept of puking into bowls or toilets, so when they have to vomit they generally just stop and spew. Location also does not play a factor in the projectile vomiting. They will puke anywhere including but not limited too, department stores, restaurants, inside of cars, and pretty much any place that isn’t a bathroom. Basically, sick toddlers are like uninhibited, highly intoxicated adults.

6. Hold You
“Hold you,” frequently means ‘Hold Me’. They will not ever want you to stop holding them, unless you actually want to hold them, then forget it. Anytime you’re busy or on the telephone, I guarantee your toddler is standing at your feet demanding to be held.

7. Watching You Shower
There you are minding your own business, and the curtain slowly peels back. “Hi mom.” If you’ve never been in this specific situation, it’s incredibly difficult to dissuade your toddler from climbing in the shower with you, and it’s virtually impossible to make them leave you alone. Now you’re stuck with talking to a two year old while you wash yourself.

8. Food Issues
For being hungry all the time, toddlers are just about the pickiest eaters on the planet. Until you’ve witnessed a child throw a full blown fit over dry cereal when they wanted milk in it, you can’t even imagine the ridiculousness of how deep these food issues go. The kid doesn’t tell you how they want it, they just expect you to know. I’m not a mind reader, kid!

9. Meltdowns
Meltdowns are the worst and sometimes the best. Meltdowns at home can sometimes be easily remedied by time out. At a small age, they can even seem a little cute the first few times. However, a meltdown in public is a nightmare. Trying to keep your cool with this kid while avoiding all the judging eyes will make anyone almost lose their mind.

10. Potty Training
Pee, everywhere. All over. Pee on the toilet, the floor, their body, and the bed, but almost never IN the potty. Potty training, I imagine, is something that’s in one of the seven circles of hell.

11. Public Decency
Attempting to keep your child decent, in all senses of the word, out in public is almost impossible. My kid just whipped ‘it’ out one day at the farmer’s market and peed right in the grass in front of everyone. Prayers fly every time you have to take your child anywhere important. Please don’t cuss. Please keep your clothes on. Please do not lick anything (Yes, that’s for real). PLEASE!

12. Political Correctness
Trying to manage both the child’s political correctness and your own as a mother is very difficult. Generally, I just avoid talking to one person for too long. The less exposure, the better. The more time each of us spends around a person or group of people, something is going to come out of someone’s mouth that some people might find inappropriate. Smile and keep walking, ladies.

13. Getting Into Things
Kid, we know as parents that you love having things you are not supposed to have. Toddlers get into everything! Everything. Purses, drawers, boxes, the trash, dog bowls, and the list goes on. Nothing is safe from their grubby little toddler hands! Sometimes you just have to put everything on the top shelf in the closet until they're about the age where they can reach the top shelf of the closet.

The more I write about kids, the more thankful I am that sterilization is an option in my future. I do love my kids dearly though, I promise! Judge all you want, but I know you’re thinking the same thing, ya’ll! Kids are tough. Kids are full of attitude. Kids are inappropriately funny. What stings the most is, our kids are just like us. Oops!