Things That Happen After You Have a Baby
Here's a list of things I wish people would've warned me about.
So, you've seen my blogs about pregnancy, childbirth, and the aftermath of having a baby...but what's it really like when it's all said and done? Here's a list of things I wish people would've warned me about before having my baby:
First, your self confidence is going to plummet. I read an article recently about how Kim Kardashian thought she was never going to have a sex again because she felt so awful about her appearance. It's a real thing. You have to learn to accept your new body, which will never be the same, and that's no easy task. I'm still in this "acceptance" process. It's going to take some time, so be prepared for that.
Speaking of sex, it's going to take some time before that can happen again. Pretty much everyone knows about the six weeks rule, but it might even be much longer than that before it "feels" normal again. Things can still be tender, even after the full six weeks. So, ease into it. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. There's no reason to rush! Your body just did some insane stuff, and everyone heals at a different pace.
The "baby blues" are very real. After I had my baby, I cried just looking at him. I cried when my boyfriend went to work each day. I just cried. It was over with within a few weeks, but there was a moment when I had to ask myself, "Is this post-partum depression, or the baby blues?" It's important to know the signs and be prepared for either. It's also very important to let your doctor know what you're feeling, so he/she can diagnose you properly.
The first three months are HORRIBLE. I hate even saying this because having a baby is such a blessing, but dear Lord the first three months are HARD. You're learning about being a parent, there's constant feedings, the baby cries (sometimes just because), you're trying to figure out a schedule, you're running on no sleep, you're in your PJs for days on end...it's very real and it's the same for everyone. It's rough. It takes at LEAST three months before you finally get it down and feel comfortable. PATIENCE IS KEY! It won't last forever, but it sure seems like it takes forever to get over the rough patch. It's amazing and exhausting at the same time. Apparently you forget all about it when you decide to have another, and then you do it all again, LOL.
Sometimes babies just cry. You're going to change them, feed them, burp them, rock them, and they're STILL going to cry. Turns out, this is totally normal. During the first few months, the baby is adjusting to the world and their little bodies are just exposed to the world and all the elements and it's rough on them. They're overstimulated, so they cry. A lot.
Your baby might have colic. There is no "we think the baby has colic". You'll know. And if you're the parents of a colicky baby (we were), then take everything I just said and multiply it times ONE HUNDRED. It's FREAKING HARD HARD HARD. The baby just screams and screams for hours on end no matter what you do. I pray for the parents of babies with colic. I always joked about having a baby with colic because my pregnancy and birthing experience was so mellow. I said, "everything has been so easy, so my baby will probably have colic because I can't have a perfect everything." I WAS RIGHT. HA. HA.
You're going to go through diapers, formula, and bottles like it's your job. Oh, how I wish I had half the money I spent on these things back. I'd be livin' large. Just when you think you've found the formula that fits, it'll start causing problems. Just when you think your baby likes a certain type of bottle, he will change his mind. Just when you think this diaper works for him, he'll get a rash. My advice to you is buy ONE THING at a time. I small can of formula, one bottle at a time, one small bag of diapers. I made the horrible mistake of bulk-ordering formula once I thought we had my baby figured out, but now he's on something totally different and I have hundreds of dollars worth of unused formula sitting in my pantry. Just try one thing at a time, and try it multiple times, before committing to buying more.
Lastly, you'll be known at the pediatrician's office before you know it. I was either in the doctor's office or on the phone with the nurse once a day for the first couple months. Part of it was new mom paranoia, but the other half was because my poor baby did have quite a few digestion/belly/colic issues. If your baby doesn't have these issues, you might not be calling as frequently, but you can bank on at least 1-3 phone calls to the doc per week. They'll tell you it's normal but you'll still feel like you're nagging. It's OK to call, that's what they're there for.