My Football Coach Taught Me How to Walk in Snow and Ice-Here’s What He Said

Looks like we're going to have to deal with this snow and ice for the rest of the week. Please allow me to pass on valuable information I got in high school from my football coach. This guy:

His name is Coach Brugh. He was my high school football coach. He had a first name but no one ever called him anything except "Coach". If he told you to do something--you just did it with no questions asked. Coach usually called you by your current girl friend's first name. Like "Suzie, speed it up" or "Judy, take a couple of laps". He was always trying to get me to keep my feet apart and beneath my shoulders. He said it was harder for the other team to knock me over that way. When I had my official photo taken in 1959, I got my feet as far apart as I could.

They must be five feet apart. Hey, that's what coach wanted. He would always say, "Suzie, pretend you are playing on ice. You wouldn't put one foot in front of the other like a supermodel! Keep those feet wide apart! This is football!"

Of course he was right. When you're walking on snow or ice, it's best if you don't walk like this:

You'll have much better balance if you walk like this:

That lady has the right idea. Feet directly beneath your shoulders. After all, these guys spend their lives on snow and ice and they waddle like, well, penguins:

That's it--feet wide apart. Coach would would be proud of you guys.