Boyfriend Accuses Woman of ‘Inviting’ Herself to His Cousin’s Wedding, Leading to Conflict

A woman on Reddit is recounting a conflict she had with her boyfriend over his cousin's wedding. 

"My boyfriend's cousin is getting married in Europe (my boyfriend is an EU citizen) next month. They sent him an invitation with a plus one last fall. My boyfriend had happily informed me about the date and I immediately saved it in my calendar. Starting January of this year, we started having fights about finances. We are not living together yet but have seriously discussed the possibility," the woman begins her post.

"He makes 5x more than I do. He is aware of our income discrepancies. When we had our fights about finances, he was accusing me of not contributing enough, when I felt like I was doing as much as I could, especially given my much lower salary. One of the accusations he had during our various fights was that I didn't offer to help pay for a trip to Europe to meet his family (that happened a year ago). My counter was that my family paid for him to meet my extended family/grandparents (that also live overseas). He said he only paid for me to go to Europe to meet his family because my parents had paid for him for our family trip," she continued.

The couple ended up taking a break from their relationship and then reconciled later on.

"So in April/May, we went on a full break because it just wasn't working out. We reconciled in June, and a few weeks later I asked him about the trip to his cousin's wedding in August. He said he had already booked a flight for only himself, since we were on a break. I totally understood his actions but I couldn't help but feel hurt, even if it made sense to do what he did. He could tell I was sad, and I told him (while crying) that even though we were on a break, I had still blocked off that time to visit his family just in case we were able to work it out in time (and this includes me not taking additional gigs that would have made up part of my income)," she added.

The boyfriend apparently did not like this and accused the woman of "inviting" herself to his cousin's wedding.

"Apparently he took offense at this and accused me of 'inviting' myself to his cousin's wedding. I was shocked at this accusation because I thought I was being considerate to still plan for the wedding, in hopes our relationship would improve by then. That argument was about a month ago. Tonight I gave him a small present that I had bought back in March for his cousin and his fiancé. He then asked if I would go to Europe with him to attend the wedding and said he'd pay for me," she furthered.

"I immediately declined and said I was fine to stay in town and I had to work. He's now sad that I don't want to go with him, which means he has to show up to the wedding in front of all of his family as a single," the woman concluded before asking if she was wrong in this situation.

READ MORE: Man Ends Relationship to Avoid Being 'Too Controlling'

People in the comments section of the post agreed that the woman was not wrong in this situation.

"NTA , but I do think you should have stayed broken up. He neither understands or respect the fact that you are not as financially secure, and he seems to be willfully obtuse about it," one person advised.

"You are NTA. Your boyfriend excluded you from the wedding plans during your break, which was hurtful. He's also repeatedly been disrespectful about finances. His last-minute offer feels like guilt-tripping. Prioritize your feelings and well-being," said another person.

"You need a different BF; you don’t mention your ages but sense this guy isn’t mature enough for a relationship yet," added a different Reddit user.

"NTA. Your boyfriend is being controlling over money and resents paying for you. He wasn’t wrong for not booking a flight for you so that’s not the issue. The problem is the tit for tat about I paid for you because your parents paid for me. It’s like he is keeping score. It will only get worse when you are married," read a separate comment.