I haven't watched Idol for a few years, but thought I'd give it another shot since they've freshened up the judges and a few other aspects.

I realize that technically this isn't week one, but I don't start watching until the finalists have been determined. Everything before that is a waste of time as far as I'm concerned.

So here's my plan; watch the show each week, then weigh in here with things that popped in my head while I watched. I'll even put them in convienent bullet-point form so you can easily pick-and-choose which opinions you hate. Ready? Let the fun begin...

- Who did J-Lo's makeup? Her kids? Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers, but scale it back a bit sister.

- Lauren will not be the next Idol. After this performance, she'll be lucky if she makes it to next week.

Bye, Bye Beard? (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

- Casey could be the next Idol. His performance gave me chills...literally. I physically had goose bumps on my arms. Powerful stuff.

- I'm calling it now, Casey's beard will be gone before the season is over. 75% of this competition is based on appearance.

- Ashton pulled off a pretty good impression of Diana Ross in the appearance department, not so sure about the performance part.

- Dear Paul McDonald, who in the hell is Ryan Adams??

- Paul will make to next week even thought this week's performance was boring, but he won't be the next Idol. He's not "mainstream" enough.

- Pia...is...HOT!! I don't even know what she sang and I don't care.

- I like James Durbin, but he won't be the next Idol. Why? Too rock. (see: Chris Daughtry)

- Randy Jackson is like a dog. But instead of peeing on the floor when he gets excited about something he rattles off 3-4 "Yo's" in a row.

- Jacob probably has the best voice in this whole thing, I got chills watching his performance. But he won't win because his has too much of a "gospel" feel to him.

- I have an overwhelming urge to buy Beats Audio headphones and microphones.

- It may be an early exit for Karen Rodriquez

- Scotty has a good voice but it's a typical country music voice. It will cost him the crown. Carrie Underwood is a country artist but has songs that can and have been played on Top 40 & Adult Contemporary stations. Scotty doesn't have that broad appeal.

- Naima looks strung out and her performance wasn't that great. Could be gone this week.

- Hey look! I'm watching American Idol and drinking Coca-Cola like the judges. The difference being that mine has whiskey in it (although Steven Tyler's might too).

- Randy Jackson "Yo!" Total = 15. Not bad for two hours.

Bottom Three = Lauren, Karen, Naima

Going Home = Lauren

What do you think? Am I on track or way off base? Who do you have as the next American Idol?