Being Stalked by a Horny House Cat

Recently my wife's cat has come into "heat" and not only has she started making these obnoxiously annoying cat calls at all hours of the night, she made ME the target! Everywhere I go around the house, this little furball is right on my heals. The worst part of if all came this morning when she ran in front of me, stopped, and hike her hind end up in the air! Now THAT was the last straw! I told my my wife it is definitely time to get her SPAYED! Bob Barker was right!

So until my wife gets this stalker cat fixed, I've decided to keep a spray bottle of water close to me at all times to try and keep her at bey! Doesn't she realize I'M NOT A CAT! My wife has made the suggestion to arrange a "DATE" with one of her friend's male cats! ARE YOU CRAZY? And have a house FULL of kittens on top of the original cat I don't want? NO THANK YOU! If this keeps up, I just might take my next check and get her fixed myself! Maybe THEN it'll leave me ALONE!