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Top Five Worst Song Lyrics Ever Written… Ever

This week, my Top 5 post is all about song lyrics. Here are five song lyrics that are just in some way wrong. Maybe I’m too shallow to understand the heart-felt lyrical stylings of Destiny’s Child and R-Kelly. Take a look and a listen. -by Steve Henning

5. The entire song “Jumpin’ Jumpin’ ” by Destiny’s Child

This song tells guys and girls to leave their respective others, someone special if you will, for the night. It goes on to tell them, “Hey, you could cheat and maybe get caught, who cares?” NO! Destiny’s Child, just NO! Where is your moral sense of direction? Keep it classy, former Destiny’s Child…

4. “It was my own lovely lady, and she said oh it’s you. And we laughed for a moment” From “Escape (the Pina Colada Song)” by Rupert Holmes

Basically, this lyric is the culmination of two people finding out each other have been looking for someone else to hook up with. They instantly are okay with each others’ infidelity and have a good laugh about it. WHAT THE HELL, MR. HOLMES? Who does that?!

3. “I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name” from “A Horse with No Name” by America

You’re in a desert, alone, with a horse. You have no one else to talk to. GIVE THAT HORSE A DAMN NAME! Tom Hanks named a volleyball for Pete’s sake…WILSON!! So It’s not that hard to give your sole companion a flippin’ name. Side note: “Hey You” is not a name.

2. “Now it’s like murder she wrote once I get you out them clothes” from “Ignition” by R-Kelly

What does that even mean!? It’s sounds like R-Kelly just confessed that if you get naked in front of him, he may be inclined to kill you. That will be followed by an elderly woman investigating your death. Now, I’ll admit, I can be awkward but I don’t believe this is the best pick up line when trying to pick up the ladies, Mr. Kelly. Neither is urinating on them, but I digress.

1. “Who doesn’t know what I’m talking about?” from “Wide Open Spaces” by The Dixie Chicks

You’d think country music would have some sort of standard on decent song writing but you’d be wrong. The very first line from this Dixie Chicks song is a question and a very random and open ended question at that. So let me answer your question, Chicks. My answer to this is NO ONE! Everyone, every person listening has no clue what you’re talking about. You have said nothing prior to this question for anyone to have a hope of knowing what you are asking.

I don’t know… maybe I’m just not “deep” enough, I guess.

Until next time, my friends…

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