“Tightening the Tackle” is the Male Eqivalent to a Bikini Wax
Thanks to an off-the-cuff remark from George Clooney, a Santa Monica, California spa is offering a new procedure aimed at men to keep things looking their best “down there”.
Creatively named, “Tightening the Tackle” by Beauty Park Spa co-owner, Nurse Jamie, the procedure uses lasers to “remove hair, erase wrinkles and correct discoloration” of a man’s nether region, specifically the pouch he carries his berries in.
So what does Clooney have to do with this? Well, apparently this becoming “a thing” is his fault after he made several jokes over the years saying that at his age, he doesn’t mess with getting his eyes done, opting instead to have his boys “ironed out”.
And how much does this “tightening” cost the Average Joe interested in having the family jewels polished smooth like a Ken Doll? Anywhere from $575 – $900 PER TREATMENT, which Nurse Jamie suggests having done six times as results from each treatment lasts roughly six weeks.
Clearly that’s a lot of money to spend on making an area I assume few people see on a regular basis look pretty. But when Nurse Jamie looks like this, I’m sure it makes opening the wallet a little easier.
Regardless of her looks, how vain, insecure, or whatever does a guy have to be to drop several grand on a procedure designed to make that area of his body look smooth and silky? News flash gentlemen, unless your an adult film star, that area serves two purposes; 1. Evacuate the bladder, and 2. Make babies. It’s not supposed to be pretty. That’s why it’s on that part of our body, so we can cover it up with pants. If it was meant to be seen by everyone, it would be on our forehead like unicorn.
At the risk of giving out TMI, I’ve only had one procedure in that region and that was to voluntarily take away my ability to contribute to the world’s population problem. I can tell you, having someone down there with tools in their hand is not a pleasant experience regardless of the reason. So while I wish Nurse Jamie the best of luck in her endeavors, I’ll keep my junk the way God intended, uglier than sin.