We've all seen some stuff we didn't want to see.

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As many people try to lose weight and get in better shape in order to keep their New Year's resolution, many are being confronted with one unexpected side-effect: The amount of bare-ass nakedness in gym locker rooms.

I'm not here to bodyshame or say that only certain people should feel free to be naked in the public space of the locker room, I'm saying that nobody should be swingin' free in the locker room. I don't care if you are Mr. Ripped Abs-McGee; I don't want to be greeted by your dong as I enter the room.

I talked to Rob about this and he thinks it is a generational thing. Older men seem to have no inhibitions in regards to letting it all hang out. I actually have a "# Days Since I've Seen Old Dude Junk" chart that I regularly update.

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It's been 1 day...

And I get that the locker room is the place to change and some nakedness is going to occur. I get that. However, last night an incident took place that lead me to this rant. There were two gentlemen having a discussion. People talk in locker rooms, no big deal. But do people normally have conversations while one dude is completely naked and remained naked for the ENTIRETY of the conversation. This was a pretty long conversation, too. They talked about their current jobs and their military service. Thank you for your service but put your weapon away.

Boris Katsman

At least the safety was on...

The part that made my skin crawl as if it were covered in 1000 spiders was that THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME THESE PEOPLE WERE MEETING. They said "Nice to meet you" and then SHOOK HANDS. NAKED GUY SHOOK THE HAND OF HALF-DRESSED GUY WHILE STILL NAKED! I have a very strict rule when it comes to handshakes: it must always be firm and both participants should be wearing clothes.

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"I like that our genitals are completely covered during this interaction."

And this is only what is happening in male locker rooms. I hear that this happens in women's locker rooms, too. I've heard a story or too about someone sitting too wide in the steam room that makes them appear to be preparing to birth a toddler. I've only heard these things, as I have repeatedly told I'm not allowed in the women's locker room, even for research purposes.


"'Female Body Inspector' isn't a real branch of law enforcement."

My goal of this blog is not to make anyone self-conscious about their body. I just want to bring awareness that some of us don't want to see anyone else naked. It's not a "Maybe you just like it too much and that scares you" scenario either. I just don't like have nudity sprung on me. Feel free to be you in the locker room, but also be aware that some of us are completely fine changing in a stall.

And if you do decide to be naked, please stop dropping things that require you to bend over to pick them up.