Contact Us

The Rob’s Top 5 Stern Quotes From Last Night’s ‘America’s Got Talent’

Howard Stern on America's Got Talent
NBC

My understanding is this is another week with only one new episode, so soak in these new Stern quotes until the show moves to Vegas next week!

This show may have the most complicated programming schedule of all-time, but there was a new AGT last night (although not tonight I don’t think) and of course I noted the five most quotable lines from my favorite judge, Howard Stern!
The first two quotes came from a woman, Thea, who had a performing pig.  One she could get the pig, Smooch, to wake up, the pig would play the piano with his snout, and also honk a horn with his mouth.  It wasn’t very impressive.  Howard asked the woman what her name was.  She replied, “Thea.”:

“No offense, I was talking to the pig.”

When Smooch the pig failed to impress anybody in the building:

 

“Bacon for everybody!”

 

There was a less-than-compelling martial artist who claimed he could hit someone 20 times in one second.  He would demonstrate his talent on a man in grey who wouldn’t defend himself:

“I don’t know why karate guys think they have an act when they just hit people who don’t defend themselves…  Guy in the grey, hit him already!”

 

There was a very annoying young woman who was a very big fan of Howard’s.  She wore a bikini and was clearly not as attractive as she thought she was.  Her talent was that she could talk really fast and rap:

 

“It was just annoying for me.  It gave me a headache.  I’m not feeling well.”

 

Before she left, she asked Howard if he would go out with her:

“We’re going to have a beautiful date…  At the mental institution.”

 

Since there’s only one new episode this week, I’ll have more quotes for you next week when the show finally moves on to Las Vegas!

More from KISS

Best of the Web

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your points and personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

*Please note that your points, prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account with your Facebook account, just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing profile and VIP program points. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to http://1061evansville.com using your Facebook account.

*Please note that your points, prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

Register on 106.1 KISS FM quickly by logging in with your Facebook account. It's just as secure, and no password to remember!

Not a Member? Sign Up Here

Register on 106.1 KISS FM quickly by logging in with your Facebook account. It's just as secure, and no password to remember!