Well, I'm turning 30 this weekend. It's like a big black cloud hanging over my head. To depress me even more, my editor suggested that I think of how I would spend my birthday if I had unlimited funds. So... here goes!

The Party

I'm turning 30 so I'd have to do it right. I'd definitely hop on my private jet to Cancun, Mexico, along with nine of my closest friends to savor some cheap coconut rum and get good and burned in the equator sun. Then, I'd take off headed to Barbados where I'd throw the biggest party money could buy. Of course, prior to my arrival, the Food Network would host an episode of Cupcake Wars in my honor and there would be a giant stand full of pristine cupcakes that we'd inevitably use for "batting practice."

The Company

This wasn't hard. I'd definitely have to meet up with Rhianna somewhere along the way. A private concert would be in order.

The Food

I love seafood and I love Red Lobster. So, I'd have a Red Lobster built within the walls of every major resort that I visited. Again... unlimited funds.

What I'd Buy

All the video games in the world... from the beginning of time!

Where I'd End Up

At home in Philly

My Ultimate Birthday Gift

A time machine with a flux capacitor so I could go back in time and turn 21 instead of 30.