The Rob Angrily Pens His Official Voice Predictions

Unfortunately, only one person is going home tonight…  I want them all to go.

Last night’s Voice was my least favorite episode of any show on any channel in the history of television.  I absolutely hated it.  Blake’s team still has three people, all of which sang country songs TWICE.  Adam only has one left, and SHE’S a country a singer…  And even USHER and SHAKIRA assigned their artists country songs!  Last night’s Voice is what my nightmares sound like, but I will still give you a quick summation.

To me the only one who’s totally safe is DANIELLE, and that’s because she’s going to win the whole thing.  Everything else though is a total roll of the dice.

MICHELLE was someone I was really counting on last night.  I thought this was my chance to really rally behind someone who has always piqued my curiosity but I never fully got behind.  I was excited to hear that she’d be singing “Somewhere Only We Know” from Keane, because I love that song AND it’s NOT country!  But I thought she blew it, I didn’t like the way her voice worked with the song, I didn’t like how breathy and soft it was.  It was a miss for me, but I appreciated that it was a break from country.  I was excited for her next song…  Only to find out she’d be doing…  A country song!  I really thought her performance of Taylor Swift’s “I Knew You Were Trouble” was terrible, too!  I thought it sounded better in rehearsal!  But apparently, she’s the highest charting vocalist from last night on iTunes, so I bet she’s safe.

SASHA is my personal favorite still on the show.  She was also my favorite from last night, but I know not everybody echoes my sentiments.  I hope tonight isn’t her night to leave.

Everybody else was a smattering of unbearable country nothingness to me.  I think my least favorite is team Blake’s HOLLY TUCKER, but clearly my opinion is off from the typical Voice voter.  Sadly, my favorite of what’s left is THE SWON BROTHERS, but I’m officially making them my choice to go home.  It wouldn’t surprise me at all if Team Adam’s AMBER was sent home either.  But maybe, just maybe, there will be some bizarre 6-way tie and legal loopholes require everybody to be sent home and the show would actually end tonight…  I’m keeping my fingers crossed!