The Perfect Thanksgiving Clapbacks
Here's some perfect responses to those annoying family questions.
Ah, Thanksgiving...the most wonderful time of the year. The family gathers, a meal is shared, you reconnect with people you haven't seen since last year's festivities. It's wonderful.
BUT, with all that comes the annoying family questions. You know the ones I'm talking about - "When are you guys getting married?" "When are you having a/another baby?" "Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?" "Where are you going to college?" "How are your grades?"
Ugh. It's painful answering these questions time after time on Thanksgiving. It's like every grandparent/aunt/uncle has a mental list of questions to bombard you with the second you walk through the door.
So, with that being said, I've dug up some perfect, sassy responses to those annoying questions/comments. See below.
"I hear you're failing math...is that true?"
A: "I hear you never graduated...is that true?"
"Isn't that your fourth plate?"
A: "Aren't you going through your fourth divorce?"
"What business do you have with a boyfriend at 16?"
A: "What business do you have being a grandma at 31?"
"Why does your hair look like that?"
A: "Why does your potato salad look like that?"
"You need to raise that GPA."
A: "You need to raise your kids."
"Why are you so quite and never talking to the family?"
A: "Why are you always pregnant but don't have a man?"
"How's your GPA lookin'?"
A: "How's your bank account lookin'?"
"When are you going to settle down?"
A: "When are you going to admit you settled?"
"I always knew you were gay."
A: "Did you always know your husband is, too?"
"How come you haven't been at church?"
A: "How come your husband hasn't been home?"
"Why do you have so much makeup on?"
A: "Why is no one eating your potato salad?"
"When I was 16, I had responsibilities."
A: "Yeah, because you were a Mother."
"Are you still single?"
A: "Are you still getting cheated on?"
"When are you gonna have some kids?"
A: "When are you gonna meet yours?"
"You know tattoos are a lifetime commitment."
A: "But your marriage wasn't?"
"When are you gonna have another kid?"
A: "When are you gonna pay support on yours?"