The 5 Stages of Grief… If You’re a Chicago Cubs Fan

Last night's World Series game didn't go the way any Cubs fans wanted. Here are the 5 stages of grief you might be going through.

1. Denial - "This is just the first inning, things will turn around. We've got this."

After the first inning, the Cubs were already down 2 runs. That's OK! The Cubs have been making amazing comebacks all year! That's why they are the "Cardiac Cubs!" It'll be fine. The Indians aren't that good. They are plagued by injuries and everything. The Cubs bats will be lighting them up any minute. And Jon Lester can't pitch this bad all game! He's fantastic. I love that he never tries to pick off runners! It's his fun little quirk!

2. Anger - " WHY IS NO ONE HITTING ANYTHING?!"

There were several times during the game where the Cubs had a chance to turn things around. The had bases loaded with no outs and a chance to do MAXIMUM DAMAGE. Unfortunately, they decided TO STRAND EVERYONE ON BASE AND GET SHUT OUT OF THE GAME! WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?! YOU GUYS MAKE SO MUCH MONEY TO HIT A BALL WITH A STICK! NOW GET OUT THERE AND HIT THE BALL WITH THE STICK! CALL THOSE BASERUNNER'S GILLIGAN, BECAUSE YOU LEFT THEM STRANDED ON A ISLAND!

3. Bargaining - Would anyone like a slightly used Jason Heyward?

This is the point where you start bargaining for things to go your way. Things I thought might help the Cubs win:

• Feeding Jason Heyward to a goat
• Politely asking the Indians to lose in exchange for tickets to Hamilton in Chicago
• Offering to name my son or daughter anything the Indians want
• Make Bill Murray walk through Chicago naked like that episode of Game of Thrones
• Make Jason Heyward eat a goat that had also eaten his $100+ million contract

I was willing to do anything for the Cubs to win last night and get a 1-0 lead in the series. Did most of them involve humiliating Jason Heyward? Yes, but the man needs to do something to warrant that kind of money.

4. Depression - "Of course the Cubs would do this. They are the Cubs."

There is nothing more upsetting than building up your love for a team only to have them let you down. Depression sinks in almost immediately. You start thinking things like "Will I ever feel the need to change out of these sweatpants," and "I wish everything was microwavable." In your depression, you might say crazy things like "Why couldn't I just be a Cardinal's fan and feel joy every once in a while?" You might also question why you ever started liking baseball in the first place and you might also text your ex just to see if you can work it out.

5. Acceptance - This was only Game 1

The sweet release of acceptance. After a good night's sleep, you wake up and realize that there is still a ton of baseball left to play. Maybe the Cubs sweep the next 4 games. That'd be neat, wouldn't it?! Today is a new day and the Cubs have a chance to bounce back tonight! And if they lose again, it'll be OK! They can still do this! And if they lose game 3 at Wrigley, alcohol exists and sweatpants are great for crying into!