So, you know how when people start dating they’ll often times Google their new boyfriend/girlfriend to try to dig up dirt on them? Well about 2 weeks ago, in my mind, I have started dating Maci from MTV’s Teen Mom. I’ve been in love with her for nearly two years now, and I’ve decided to make our relationship official. Things have been going very well so far, thanks. However, after doing a little poking around online, I’m worried my girlfriend may be living a double life. In fact, my sweetheart MAY be kind of a whore… I’m not sure yet. Here are a few things not-everybody may know about Teen Mom’s most-beloved mother:

EXHIBIT A: Ridiculously-large fake boobs

The focus of the first two episodes of this season’s Teen Mom have focused on Farrah’s decision to get breast implants. However, supposedly after the season stopped filming, not to be outdone, Maci ran out and also installed some new knockers herself! This is completely out of character for her, or at least the character she “portrays” on the MTV reality series… I wonder what Bently thinks of the new twins.


EXHIBIT B: Crazy obnoxious tattoos

She tries her hardest to keep these things hidden on TV, but this girl is COVERED in ugly tattoos! Look at this thing on her back! WTF is that, the entire Declaration of Independence? No sane mature person would get that tattooed on their back.


EXHIBIT C: Beer bonging spring break

2-3 years ago, lil Maci was just 16 & Pregnant… Now she’s like 19 and bonging beers with her huge boobs and gross tattoos at spring break! “Hey guys, let’s grab Bently’s mom and give her a kegstand!” I’m not going to say I never got drunk as a teenager, but I also never portrayed myself like a responsible parent. Quite the contrary, I portray myself like a debaucherous douchebag.


EXHIBIT D: Lying about her sexual history

Maci has always done a very good job of portraying herself to be an innocent girl. She even went as far as to claim she had only had sex with her boyfriend Ryan on her 16 & Pregnant episode. But sometime inside Teen Mom season 2, it had been discussed that she had sex with her current boyfriend Kyle before Ryan. Although it wasn’t addressed directly, Kyle’s family even went as far as to perform a PATERNITY TEST on Bently… Who to me looks much more like Kyle than he does Ryan. How much unprotected sex was Maci having as a teenager? If you ask me, much more than she wants us to believe.

You make the call, do you think Maci is portraying herself in a dishonest light on MTV’s Teen Mom? Or should she be on a spinoff reality series, 19 & Slutty?