As I've written before, three-year-olds can be the pits. However, one awesome quality of threenagers is their aptitude for exquisite toddler comedy. Throughout the life of my three-year-old, he's said some hilarious things. Today, I'm going to do a little humor piece I'd like to call, "Conversations with a Three-Year-Old." So, here we go.

1) The Standoff

2) The Creeper
*Hears heavy breathing outside bathroom door*

Me: What are you doing?

3-year-old: *whispers* I'm going to have to break the door down...

3) The Flirt

4) The Procrastinator
3-year-old: I have to poop!

Me: Okay, let's go potty.

3-year-old: No.

Me: Yes, you said you have to poop.

3-year-old: I don't have to poop.

Me: You just said...

3-year-old: I DON'T HAVE POOP!

5) The Defiant

Kids, huh?