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Ryan O’Bryan Checks the Success Rate of His 2013 Resolutions

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Before the new year starts, I figure I should check and make sure I accomplished everything I wanted to in 2013.

For a long time I didn’t make resolutions because I knew deep down that despite their good intent, I know myself well enough to know that I was just setting myself up for disappointment. Then I realized the problem wasn’t my ability to follow through, the problem was the goals were too high. So I put together a list of resolutions that I figured I wouldn’t be too hard to hit. That way I’d feel pretty good at the end of the year knowing I did at least a majority of the things I set out to do.

So how did I do? Let’s find out together.

I will only hit snooze once when the alarm goes off in the morning, unless I stayed up too late the night before playing video games. In that case I will hit snooze twice, or perhaps three times.

SUCCESS! Some things are more important than sleep, such as saving the world on Lego: Marvel Superheroes, or robbing the mob blind in Grand Theft Auto.

Instead of ordering a 16 ounce steak at dinner, I will scale back and order a 12 ounce.

FAIL! That one went out the window back in June (although I probably screwed it up before that. What can I say, steak is yummy!).

I will continue to eat pretty much whatever I want, until a doctor tells me that I continuing to do so may kill me.

SUCCESS! And I’m still not dead. DOUBLE SUCCESS!

I will be more patient with my kids, unless they do something I’ve repeatedly told them not to do. In that event, I am clear to “flip my lid”.

SUCCESS! I can only put up with so much.

I will continue to boycott “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo”, “Keeping Up with the Kardashians”, and anything that begins with “The Real Housewives of…”

SUCCESS! Is Honey Boo Boo even still a thing? I also went above and beyond on this one by refusing to watch everyone’s favorite train wreck, Duck Dynasty.

I will wear t-shirts and jeans, because that’s what I’m comfortable in.

SUCCESS! Love me for who I am, not what I wear.

I will think about starting to work out.

SUCCESS! I got a membership to the YMCA through work and went three times over the course of the year, never once to lift weights, although I DID think about it. (Side note: swimming indoors in the middle of winter is nice.)

I will work the word ”Kumquat” into as many conversations as possible because it sounds dirty.

FAIL! This one disappoints me the most, as “kumquat” IS such a dirty sounding word.

I will break my current high score of 12-under on 18 holes of Wii Sports Resort Golf.

FAIL! I don’t think I even got close to tying it. In my defense, we did add a Wii U system to the mix, relegating the old Wii to the basement TV, which made it easy to forget about.

I will drive just enough over the speed limit not to get caught.

SUCCESS! However, there were a couple of close calls, but I managed to get through the year without a speeding ticket.

I will consider rock and rolling all night and partying every day, then realize it sounds like too much work, and just watch TV.

SUCCESS! Doing stuff is exhausting, so why bother.

I will drink a beer or four when the mood strikes me.

SUCCESS! I over-achieved on this one from time to time as well, although I would quickly regret those achievements the next morning.

Nine out of twelve, not too bad in my opinion. Now, on to a new year, and a new list. Bring it on 2014!

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