Way back at the ripe old age of 14, before he became the sparkly vampire that would make him famous, a now 26-year-old Robert Pattinson channeled his best androgynous duck-face and modeled underwear in Japan. And now he kind of regrets ever doing it.

“I wasn’t shy, but Robert was! He barely spoke at all,” Lucy Flowers, his co-model recalled of the 2001-ish shoot, which was supposedly 1930s beachwear-themed.

Either beaches were really fancy in the '30s, or the Japanese were known for wearing dress shoes, socks and silk scarves in the water. But then again, we hear jellyfish and other denizens of the deep are too polite to attack someone wearing freshly-shined shoes, so maybe the sun-worshipers back then were on to something.

“[Rob] totally is embarrassed with those modeling shots and he thinks that they look horrifying. He was fine with it when he did them but looking back at them now, it’s both a little funny and a little scary to see,” an insider told HollywoodLife, adding, “His friends are definitely making fun of him.”

Poor RPatz. If only he had millions of dollars and a loyal fan base to assuage the pain.

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