New Breakup App Makes Dumping Your GF/BF Easier Than Ever
I really could have used this app a little sooner.
I am absolutely terrible at breakups. There is nothing I hate more than trying to end a relationship. I’m that person that tends to let it drag out because I’m too scared to just yank the band-aid off and get it over with. But I recently stumbled upon an app that takes care of this issue for me. Breakup Text has you answer a few simple questions about your relationship, and then generates a text for you that takes care of the problem. Sure, breaking up with someone via text is a little cold, but its better than just ignoring them or disappearing, right? I decided I would give the app a whirl and see what it came up with. (FYI – this was just a practice round. No men were harmed in the process.)
“Hi ‘Random Guy’, I know you expected to make it to our next anniversary. Maybe beyond, who knows? There was that one night we named our maybe-babies. That was cute. You’re cute. But it’s over between us. We’ve drifted apart. It’s not just your impotency, it really isn’t. And no, this isn’t about that guy at work. It’s us. Ever hear the song Cape Canaveral by Conor Oberst? Of course you haven’t, that was one of our issues. Anyways, we’re like that. A poltergeist love. And I need an exorcism.”
After the app sends the text, you even get this helpful message:
So, this is probably not the most realistic way to end a relationship. But I still think it’s the best 99 cents I have ever spent. What do you think of the app – cruel or brilliant?