A rider from a recent Justin Bieber photoshoot has been obtained by TMZ, and it's a gem -- with demands ranging from no one being allowed to speak to him to Selena Gomez's music being banned in his presence.

Well then.

The rider also bans cell phones and autographs (for obvious reasons) and has a long list of demands for food. You know, just in case he gets the munchies. Which we assume happens a lot.

Food stuffs include assorted herbal tea (both chamomile and throat), a deli platter, a veggie platter, a large bag of Swedish Fish, Ritz Bitz Peanut Butter Sandwiches, Ritz Bitz Cheese Sandwiches and two large packs of Haribo gummy colas. Also, "proper" plates and cutlery because what is he, an animal?

As for clothing, the Biebs demands multiple pairs of white undershirts, tees, tank tops and socks in both extra-small and large. (At first we weren't sure why the divergent sock sizes would be necessary, but now we've decided maybe he's just pulling a Red Hot Chili Pepper move when no one is watching.)

For the record, Bieber's rep has denied the rider is real -- but come on, isn't that exactly what he would say?