Justifiable Mom-ocide: Irate Mothers Need to Take a Time Out and Find Support with Online Groups
by Karen Saddler-Presley
No one ever said being a mother was easy. Let’s face it, it’s a hard job but somebody has to do it. Mother’s day comes around once a year and we are supposed to call mom and remind her we still love her. We might take her out for dinner or perhaps spring for a card, some flowers and a drive by visit. I admit I am guilty of such behavior. However, everyday should be Mother’s Day (or at least once a week or month if you just can’t handle daily) because life is short and you don’t want to live the rest of your life with regrets. Chances are mom worked hard and deserves the appreciation. If you have time today call mom and tell her you love her for no apparent reason.
This is the ideal situation but not all families are so lucky. In the last four decades dramatic changes in the shape of the American family have taken place. With the changing demographics in society and the rising numbers of single parent households-the single mother often finds herself facing situations and societal pressures and constraints that not all families can identify with. No one, except another single mother can understand the mountains of red tape dumped on her regularly. Dysfunction runs rampant in many bureaucratic systems put in place to help her. If she didn’t spend so much time getting the run around, maybe she could take a step forward without being knocked two steps back.
Being a single mother in the middle of the worst economic downfall since the Great Depression is not a cushy place to be. Many single mothers are working two or three jobs trying to make ends meet. The concept of living pay check to pay check is a goal to aspire too when you are two months behind in rent; are sitting waiting for someone to come shut off the electric, or for someone to reposes your car. Researchers have linked single-parent families to child poverty in the United States (Prb.org, 2012). The effects of growing up in single-parent households have been shown to go beyond economics- increasing the risk of dropping out of school, disconnecting from the labor force and becoming teen parents or addicts. Being a single mother doesn’t necessarily get any easier just because the kids grow up. Things can get worse in the teen years. Especially if they are bigger than you.
Mom often finds herself buried in her multiple “role” responsibilities and often leaves herself out of the equation all together. If this sounds familiar to you then it is important for you to stop and take a time out. Not just today, but regularly. Schedule an appointment with yourself and keep it. It is the most important thing you can do for yourself and your family. Find something that interests you and pursue it. Look for others in your situation and gather support. Otherwise, you may be guilty of justifiable-mom-ocide, and find yourself miserable and acting in ways that don’t necessarily reflect who you really are. Log on to www.singlemotheraid.com for a place to start.