I Unfollowed Someone on Instagram Because of Their Ugly Baby (And I Feel Fine)

I'm not proud of myself, but I unfollowed someone on Instagram because they kept posting pics of their ugly baby.

Yes, I might be the worst. Yes, all babies are the most beautiful to their parents. However, lets be realistic: Some babies aren't photogenic. Yet these are the babies that have parents who have them work it for the camera every five minutes.

And again, I know that it isn't any particular baby's fault that they may look like a misshapen potato. Some people might find your Spuds McKenzie adorable. I didn't. The story behind this is that I was minding my own business, scrolling through my Instagram (looking at pics of friends, cats, and Funko Pop Vinyls) and then suddenly I'm faced with a friend's baby.

First off, I had no idea this person even had a baby. I was shocked they had procreated at all. Once the shock of "They had a baby?!" wore off, I was blasted by back-to-back-to-back photos of their child. And man, it was rough. Each picture was worse than the last. I felt like I was stuck in a batting cage and the baseballs were getting pitched directly at my eyeballs. It's like they weren't even trying to make their baby cute (or hiding it behind a plant). I did the only thing that I could do: I unfollowed them on Instagram. No matter what else they might post, the risk of seeing their child wasn't worth it.

This all sounds very self-centered, I know. You shouldn't have to conform your babies cuteness to my views of adorableness. And I'm sorry if I've upset any of you with my honesty. And if you have had the misfortune of gritting your teeth while telling someone their baby is "So cute," you are my people. And I'm not saying I was a cute baby. I really wasn't. I was a big 'ol fattie. But you can grow out of it. Maybe I'll follow this ugly baby on Instagram later in life (And I'm pretty sure that sentence just got me on a watch list).

Overall, babies are sometimes ugly. And sometimes that gets you unfollowed on Instagram. It happens. As my sister delicately once said: "Sometimes you can overlook ugly babies, but man, sometimes it's like 'I'm trying to eat here.' Cut it out."

There is a cure for ugly babies: Just replace any photo of your baby with Baby Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy.

via GIPHY