Friday the 13th Movies Ranked Worst to First!
In celebration of Friday the 13th, let's rank everyone's favorite killer-goalie movies!
Today is Friday the 13th which means everyone is just a bit more superstitious. Oh, and we are all avoiding going camping because Jason Voorhees will definitely get you. In celebration of Friday the 13th, here are all of the Friday the 13th movies ranked from Worst to First!
And yeah, this is gonna be a pretty long list because there are 12 of these damn things.
12. Jason Goes to Hell
This movie is pure trash. At this point, the franchise of Jason was already 8 movies in and they decided it was time to end it by sending Jason to actual Christian Hell. Fun Fact: Actual Christian Hell involves turning into a worm demon and jumping from body to body, I guess. This features very little Jason and even less Hell, despite being called Jason Goes to Hell. But hey, at least they got that cool Freddy-Krueger-grabbing-Jason's-mask ending.
11. Jason X
Where do you send Jason after he's already been to Hell? SPACE! Yes, like many popular franchises before it (Hellraiser and Leprechaun), it was time to shoot Jason into space. AND THE FUTURE. Why settle for just space when you can freeze Jason for a bunch of years and have him wake up on a space station with worse special effects than Star Trek: The Next Generation! This movie does have that cool frozen face smash kill so at least it has that.
10. Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan
Yes, this is another Jason film where the writers decided that Jason needed to get away from Crystal Lake and see the world. On this vacation, the destination was Manhattan, even though most of this movie is spent on a boat on the way to Manhattan. Jason only spends 20 minutes of the movie actually in New York. Even though I'm ranking this so low, this is one of my guilty pleasure horror movies. It's so terrible that it somehow manages to become slightly good. What other horror movie features a rooftop boxing match that ends with Jason punching a guys head off?
9. Friday the 13th Part 5: The New Beginning
Friday the 13th Part 5: The New Beginning was the first hint that maybe we shouldn't be making a new Jason movie every year. The movie doesn't feature the original Jason (who was killed in Part 4), instead offering a whodunnit that really doesn't pay off in the end. NOBODY CARES WHO IS PRETENDING TO BE JASON IF IT ISN'T ACTUALLY JASON! A Friday the 13th movie should never be a bad episode of Scooby-Doo.
8. Friday the 13th Part 7: The New Blood
This is one of the better entries in the latter half of the series, but the Jason VS Telekinesis Girl didn't do much for me. The film does feature one of Jason's most iconic looks and most iconic kills: the sleeping bag tree smash. The end of this movie is a mess though, with Telekinesis Girl's dead dad jumping out of Crystal Lake to drag Jason back down underwater. Points for creativity and points for making no sense.
7. Freddy VS Jason
Does this count as a Friday the 13th movie? I don't care if it does or not, it's on the list. This movie brought together two horror icons so they could battle it out for the delight of nerds. I love this movie. Sure, it doesn't feature a lot of them fighting and some of the dialogue doesn't hold up (Kelly Rowland's homophobic slur towards Freddy immediately jumps out), but it's still a fun movie that mostly lived up to the hype.
6: Friday the 13th
Yeah, it's the original that started it all which means it should be my number 1, right? Nope. This movie is classic, but it's also not THAT good. Sure, it has some inventive kills (and amazing gore effects), but it's a very slow moving film that slightly falls apart in the end. I still have no idea what Jason jumping out at the end was supposed to accomplish aside from setting up more movies. It's a very confusing ending (are we seeing a trend here?) that is still a head-scratcher.
5: Friday the 13th Part 3: 3D
Like so many movies in the 80's, the third entry into the series decided to go the 3D route. Unfortunately, 80's 3D technology was real bad. If you are watching this movie without the 3D, prepare for a lot of things coming at the camera that look awful. This movie does feature the first time Jason wears a hockey mask though so it plays a role in making Jason iconic.
4: Friday the 13th (2009)
The 2009 remake/reboot gets a lot of crap for not being as good as the original but personally, I love it. It has one of the most memorable opening sequences of any horror movie of the past 20 years. I like the idea of Jason being more of a hunter as opposed to just an ordinary killing machine. The movie is more fun, too, if you imagine that Jared Padalecki is playing Dean from Gilmore Girls and has to stop Jason from killing Rory.
3: Friday the 13th Part 2
This movie is the first to feature Jason as the killer which was a change up from the original film. No longer was the film a mystery, but rather a "Wait, how is this guy still alive?" The film features more brutal kills than the first film and is one of the more politically incorrect entries. I mean, if a movie is willing to kill a guy in a wheelchair and push him down a comedic amount of stairs, what won't they do?
2: Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter
Imagine a world where this actually was the last movie of the series. We'd have missed out on all of Jason's super weird vacations. This was supposed to be the last film in the series and Jason was supposed to be killed off for good. Sadly, studios enjoy making money which is why there were 8 more made after this. This is a great film. It has creative kills, the most nudity of the entire series, and a brutal ending that actually makes sense. Sure, Corey Feldman killing Jason isn't ideal, but when you do it they way he did, we'll give it a pass.
1. Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives
This movie is amazing. It's funny and scary and everything a Friday the 13th movie isn't normally supposed to be. After the mishap that was Part 5, nobody expected the series to bounce back like this. The movie features the return of Jason (this time as a zombie) and the return of Tommy Jarvis, the character Corey Feldman played in Part 4. I love that the film doesn't take itself to seriously and that the ending is "We're going to put a giant rock on Jason and sink him into a lake." It's the perfect ending for the most enjoyable film in the series.
How do my rankings compare to yours? Drop a comment below. Also, be sure to check out my rankings of the Halloween series!