Can We Please Stop Being Offended By Everything?

In case you missed the memo, you should be offended by everything. If you see something on TV that upsets you, you shouldn’t change the channel and go on with your life; instead, you should instead hop on social media (Facebook, Twitter, and especially Tumblr) and tell everyone just how upset you are. Chances are there are several thousand people also with nothing better to do than to get offended with you.

This has been an AMAZING week for getting offended if you’re into that kind of thing. And if you aren’t into getting offended, you are definitely what‘s wrong with this country and the reason offensiveness exists. The big story to start the week was Starbucks changing their coffee cup from one with snow and trees on it, to a plain red cup. Changing to a plain red cup gave many people the excuse to be offended because, according to them, Starbucks is trying to kill Christmas, bring upon the apocalypse, etc. That’s all it took: a red cup. Let’s put this into perspective: people gathered on social media and demanded that Starbucks, a corporation that is doing quite well in both revenue and from a PR standpoint, change the DESIGN OF A CUP YOU ARE GOING TO THROW AWAY ANYWAY! Starbucks could write 100 “Yo Mama” jokes on my cup about my actually mother and I’d still sip every last drop of deliciousness. Why? BECAUSE I’M GOING TO THROW THE CUP AWAY ANYWAY! I’m not hoarding and collecting every cardboard/paper cup that the Starbucks corporation has ever made. Why should I care if they change the design from trees/snow (which isn’t even explicably Christmas themed) to a red cup?

One of my favorite cases of a very small group of people getting offended was over the Rob Lowe DirecTV commercial where he portrayed a character as “Painfully Awkward” Rob Lowe who has trouble using the restroom to represent the awkwardness of having cable. A group of people who have shy bladders banded together and demanded that DirecTV pull the ads as it offended them. First off, I’m shocked that these people were able to even speak to each other considering how shy their bladders are. Second, NOBODY WAS PURPOSELY GOING OUT OF THEIR WAY TO OFFEND YOU! I highly doubt that the advertising people for DirecTV all said “Let’s really p*ss off the shy bladder community!” If that went down, I hope they high-fived for tying the phrase “P*ssed off” to shy bladder people. They claimed that the commercial unfairly portrayed them and that it made them look like losers for having the condition. Fun Fact: I don’t care what your pee business is. Nobody but you cares about your pee business. Unless you reach out and tell the world that you and your shy bladder brethren got your feelings hurt by a comedic commercial.

And finally, we have another case of being offended this week (and it’s only Wednesday so here’s hoping for more). Target is selling a Christmas sweatshirt that says “OCD,” which stands for “Obsessive Christmas Disorder.” Of course, people who suffer from actual OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) are upset because it’s making fun of their condition. No, it isn’t. They are simply using the same letters as your disorder to peddle Christmas stuff. That’s it. At best, the sweatshirt is a chuckle, and then quickly an afterthought. Now, by bringing attention to it, YOU ARE BRINGING ATTENTION TO IT! Would I have known that this sweatshirt even exists if the OCD population wasn’t making a huge deal out of it? Of course not, because I have better things to do than get upset at a novelty sweatshirt that’ll be clearanced out. I understand that OCD sucks, but they weren’t attacking you. The best way to fight back against this sweatshirt is to not buy it. However, I’m sure Target is pretty ok with the free publicity you are giving a crappy sweatshirt.

If we don’t stop getting offended at everything, eventually, we aren’t going to have anything left. I’m not saying that you aren’t allowed to get offended at things. What I am saying is that you aren’t allowed to get offended and then automatically dictate that it offends everything else. My tolerance for offensiveness is relatively high. If something does offend me, I turn it off, don’t buy it, or stop associating with it. And then, I move on with my life. If I was upset every time scrawny dudes were the butt of a joke, I’d never leave my house because I’d be too busy Tumblring about taking down the swole dude patriarchy. I have better things to do than get offended at everything. If we don’t stop, we are all going to end up in a plain blue room staring at the ceiling so nothing offends our fragile little brains. Unless that ceiling is red, in which case, it’s destroying Christmas and we should all be offended.