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An Open Letter To My 12 Year Old Daughter

Sometimes being a mom is the hardest job in the world. I was telling The Rob on Monday about my daughter & her reaction when she didn’t make the cheer team. I was heartbroken that I couldn’t “make it all better.” Below you will find a letter that I wrote to my daughter, as well as “our song.”

Love

Flickr/thezartorialist.com

My Beautiful Daughter,

Being a mom doesn’t have an instruction manual, and we both know that the only thing that I learned from MY mom was how to not be a mom. Raising you has never been easy for me. My greatest fear in life is that I will fail you -  that somehow, some way I won’t be the mom that you need me to be. I could handle failing at all else in my life, but I cannot fail at that.

I have worked very hard in the last 12 years to build a loving relationship with you. A relationship built on love, trust, and respect. I have always known that the time would come when life would get tougher for you. A time when being able to come to me with life’s problems would be necessary, and I have always wanted you to know that I would be here for you -  no matter what. I have tried to always keep an open line of communication with you. I remember what it was like to need my mom to just listen and understand. Unfortunately, I didn’t have that kind of relationship with my mom. It has always been really important to me for you to trust that I will always be there for you, and for you to trust that you can talk to me about anything. I am grateful that you make use of our open communication, and trust me with your thoughts and feelings. They are priceless.

When I see your face, there’s not a thing that I would change, ’cause you’re amazing
just the way you are. And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while ’cause girl you’re amazing, just the way you are. – Bruno Mars

I know how badly you wanted to cheer next year. I also know how hard you worked leading up to the try outs. You gave it your very best, and this time it wasn’t enough to make the squad. I hated seeing the disappointment on your face. Even worse than that was to hear you be so hard on yourself. I know that you felt like you had failed, but I am so proud of you! You found something you wanted to do, and you went for it! You put yourself out there. That may not seem like a big deal to you, but I have watched you grow up. I have seen you peek out from behind me when someone speaks to you. I have watched you blush just because I pay you a compliment. I know that it took a lot of courage to do this, and you made me proud.

It was heartbreaking to see you beat yourself up over all of this, and Friday night, I felt like I had failed you. There was nothing that I could do or say that was going to make it all better. I couldn’t fix it. I couldn’t take away the hurt that you were feeling. Remember how I told you this whole parenting thing doesn’t come with an instruction manual? I really could have used one Friday! I know that I couldn’t make you feel better about how everything turned out, but I hope that the insights that I shared with you will help you in the future. These are things that it has taken me a very long time to learn. While I know that it will likely take first hand experiences for you to learn many of these things for yourself, I am hoping that you will at least take note and that my experiences can help guide you in yours.

You are beautiful no matter what they say. Words can’t bring you down. You are beautiful in every single way. Yes, words can’t bring you down. Don’t you bring me down today. -Christina Aguilera

There is no one that can do you better than you, and you should always embrace that! Stay true to who you are because you are amazing! Don’t ever let other people make you feel like anything less. I’ve told you before: those that try to bring you down are only trying because you are already above them. I know it seems like the end of the world if someone doesn’t like you or someone makes fun of you, but the truth is in 10 years that person won’t matter in the grand scheme of YOU. I’ve told you before that I was never popular. I didn’t have the right clothes, and didn’t do what the “cool” kids did. I was too thin and couldn’t help it. There were plenty of reasons for other kids to pick on me, and look at me now. I have a wonderful family and an amazing career. I am a lotus, grown out of the mud & muck, and yet beautiful & strong none the less. I read a long time ago… “bloom where you are planted.” That has always stuck with me. For a long ,long time, that was the story of my life, and even now, very sound advice. Another quote that I found in a newspaper comic years ago, read: “I’ve got to be me. Everyone else is already taken.” Somewhere in this house, right now, that cut out comic still exists. I have never forgotten that small piece of wisdom. Most importantly, never let anyone else determine your own self-worth. Be proud of who you are.

Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel, like you’re nothing, you are perfect to me. – PINK

Sometimes when we try new things, we fail. This will happen… a lot. You and I are so much alike. We don’t like to fail. Ever. Unfortunately, we have to. It’s how we learn. You will learn what is truly important to you, and what you are truly passionate about. You will pick yourself up from those failures, and you will work your little butt off until you succeed. THIS is what separates the things we think we want to do from the things that we really want to do, and you better believe that when people like you and I set our minds to what we really want, we make it happen. It’s who we are.

I am thankful every day that you are my daughter. You are a funny, witty, and incredibly bright little girl. You are beautiful, and I love you. The joy, happiness and laughter that you bring to my world are boundless! You are truly one of the most amazing people that I have ever met, and my love for you grows more & more every day. You will never know how proud of you I am. Always remember: I love you. I’m proud of you. I will always be here for you… even when I don’t have all of the answers. I promise I will always do my best.

I love you ALWAYS,

Mommy

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