6 of the Strangest Fortunes You Could Possibly Receive

The only reason I eat chinese food is for the fortune cookie at the end. Well, that's a lie, I eat it because its delicious, but I still look forward to that stale little cookie that holds my fate more than anything. But every now and then, you stumble across a fortune that kind of throws you off. Like these...

This is a rip off. I just ate my weight in sweet & sour chicken for nothing.

 Now I'm going to assume it's every dreamy man I come across, when in reality, it's my creepy neighbor that steals my mail.

Very flattering, but also very false.

 Wait... wouldn't that defeat the purpose?

 Or maybe just start by not eating so much Panda Express.

I'm going to need a few more details before I'm willing to make that kind of investment.