The only reason I eat chinese food is for the fortune cookie at the end. Well, that's a lie, I eat it because its delicious, but I still look forward to that stale little cookie that holds my fate more than anything. But every now and then, you stumble across a fortune that kind of throws you off. Like these...

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This is a rip off. I just ate my weight in sweet & sour chicken for nothing.

 

 

 

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 Now I'm going to assume it's every dreamy man I come across, when in reality, it's my creepy neighbor that steals my mail.

 

 

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Very flattering, but also very false.

 

 

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 Wait... wouldn't that defeat the purpose?

 

 

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 Or maybe just start by not eating so much Panda Express.

 

 

 

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I'm going to need a few more details before I'm willing to make that kind of investment.