Dating is already terrible enough, why make it worse?

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Dating: It's that thing we all do because we decided long ago that we couldn't just live by ourselves and be happy. Oh, and there is that whole keep-the-human-race-going reason. No matter your reason for doing it, dating is often miserable, especially if you spend any time on dating apps.

I recently decided to sign up for every free dating site and app as a way to explore the wasteland that is my options for a mate. You've probably been there as well. One thing I keep seeing though, is how many of the same terrible type of pictures keep popping up. I decided to make a list of these types of pics, which I will get to now.

1. Way Too Close-Up

Gavin Eddings

You definitely deserve to know what a potential dating prospect looks like, but hot damn, zoom out. Too many times the first picture on someone's POF or Tinder is a super zoomed-in photo where I can't tell if I'm looking at a human face or a piece of bread with googly-eyes. Zoom the photo out so I can determine if you're human or not. Also, a good first-impression is never made based on how much gunk I can see in your pores.

2. Too. Many. Filters.

Gavin Eddings

Snapchat has ruined how we take pictures of ourselves (and our genitals, but that's a topic for a different time). Rarely do I get a snap from someone that doesn't involved some sort of ears or animal face. It's annoying on Snapchat, but it's incredibly annoying when the person I'm looking at on a dating site might be Bambi. Maybe one filter is passable, but I've scrolled through up to 9 photos of filters on some profiles. Unless you're trying to awaken some sort of weird animal fetish, chill out on the filters.

3. The Group Shot

Gavin Eddings

Where's Waldo is a fun game for about 10 minutes, then you find Waldo and decide you'd never date him. That's the same way it goes with huge group photos on your dating profile. Chances are you're posing with your more attractive friends and setting yourself up for failure. Not everyone photo has to be you alone, but don't make it harder than it has to be to find you. especially if finding you might not be a prize.

4. Ex Marks the Spot

Kevin Winter, Getty Images

I assume if you're on a dating site, you're willing to move on from your ex - just kidding, we're all emotionally broken children who have no idea what love is. Yet we still try. The least you can do when trying to give the illusion that you're ready for a relationship is to not have photos with your ex. And yes, I know not every guy or girl you are making out with is necessarily an ex, but still, you're making out with someone in a profile photo. We're already going to feel the empty void of not living up to your past loves, no need for photographic proof.

5. Leading with a Baby Pic

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When you are trying to date in your late 20's to early 30's, your potentials potentially having kids is very high. That doesn't mean you have to lead with a picture of your bundle of joy to let us know what we are in for. It's very alarming to see a baby pic on a dating site and makes me think: A) I am somehow on the very, very wrong part of the internet or B) This baby is cruising for some strange. Neither one of those options work me. Let us discover you have kids 3 or 4 pictures in after we've already decided we could make something work and then have to reassess that entire situation.

 

If any of these pics are currently on your profile, please fix it so we can go back to foolishly thinking we can find love on our phones.