10 Things You Question When Getting A Massage

You know there's always a little anxiety lying on that table. 

Remember the time you thought it was a good idea to get a massage? You know your body will feel great after, but the mind racing questions arise the minute you undress and lay face down on the table.

1. Should I keep my underwear on? 

It's always awkward. Like why would I take them off? Is there something going to happen under there? Maybe I should because they don't want to rub my butt with a bikini line? My answer is, leave them on unless you plan on a happy ending.

2. Should I have shaved my legs for this? 

Everything is fine and dandy till the massage therapist moves to the lower half. My first thought is always, "should I have shaved my legs?" I always tell myself, they probably don't care. If it were me rubbing on someone though, I would prefer smooth freshly shaved legs.

3. Maybe 55 minutes isn't long enough (or too long)?

I get antsy fairly quick but once I am relaxed I think, man the 75 min would have been the wise decision. Who doesn't want to be relaxed and rubbed on for 75 full minutes, in silence?!

4. What if I have to use the bathroom?

Of course, I can hold it through a movie, all night while sleeping, during the day for several hours but of course I will probably have to go the minute I get undressed and on the table. Would that cut in on my time or can we pause the timer?

5. What if I fall asleep and pass gas or snore?

THE BIGGEST FEAR! I am always afraid I will drool. I know I don't snore but you never know about the other end of your body! It has a mind of it's own when you are totally relaxed.

6. Should I talk to the massage therapist?

This isn't a therapy session. Keep your trap shut and relax. I would say 9 out of 10 massage therapists don't care about your break up.

7. When will I be able to flip over? 

How many minutes is too much on my stomach? My boobs are smashed! Has it been long enough to where I can flip to my back? The answer is always different. My last massage had me on my stomach for 40 of the 55 min.

8. How much is too much pressure?

They always ask let me know if you like more or less pressure? What am I a turkey? I don't know. Just don't hurt me but don't be too light.

9. Is this hole big enough for me to breathe through?

The weirdest part. Let's just stare at the ground pretending this is normal. Oh wait, did I just drool on the floor?

10. Is this what all massage places are like?

I have been to a few places and some are similar but some are very different. What is the correct atmosphere? Am I getting the most bang for my buck? I guess I will continue to go to the same place unless I get a gift card. I am a creature of habit.