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10 Things I Hate Most About Public Restrooms

Public restrooms are a necessity in life. However, we can still hate them, right? Large public restrooms are the WORST (think of Walmart). I can almost hear my shoes clopping against the dirty tile and the germs splitting into twos everywhere. Yuck. Here are ten reasons why public restrooms are the absolute worst:

1) Auto Flush
Whoever the genius was that developed auto flush was actually kind of a genius. However, you’d think he (or she) would be capable enough to figure out the sensor problem that causes the toilet to flush mid-pee or mi- lady product change. Yeah, that’s fun just a TMI FYI. Not to mention it scares the bejesus out of you so not only do you have to stand up mid-whatever, you are also terrified the toilet might have sucked down a body part with it.

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2) Insufficient or Too Much Toilet Paper
Why can’t they make an auto toilet paper dispenser (that actually works unlike the toilet)? There’s always this giant three roll holder that’s either got about 2 squares of toilet paper dangling down (if you’re even lucky enough to get squares) or it’s so jam packed full of toilet paper that it’s impossible to pull toilet paper out any way other than about 3 inches at a time. The public restroom toilet paper situation is one of the most ridiculous problems that still exists in our modern world. We have iPhone 7’s but no efficient way to obtain paper to wipe our butts. Seriously.

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3) Hand Dryers
There have been numerous studies done that prove that hand dryers actually spread germs, not prevent them. The air never seems to quite blow in the right direction either. Not to mention it’s about as loud as an air horn. To be honest, I’ll wipe my hands on my pants before I use a hand dryer. Sorry, not sorry.

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4) Used Toilet Seat Covers
Every bathroom stall is full when suddenly one opens. You have to go right now and cannot hold it any longer, and there’s a used toilet seat cover still on the pot. What to do? Flush and hope it goes down? Use toilet paper to grab it and throw it away? What’s just as bad is trying to use one yourself. Where does the inside flap go? I can’t keep pee off of it. Then what do I do with it? Toilet seat covers are just the worst unless the seat is visibly dirty. In that case, double up and hope for the best or find another stall.

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5) Poop Anywhere
As an ex-employee of a local fast food restaurant, I’ve seen some disgusting bathroom shenanigans. One of the grossest things I have ever witnessed (and also refused to clean) was human poo in a urinal that had been dug into and smeared all over the tile walls beside it. There is not enough bleach in the world people. Not enough.

WARNING: The video below is kinda gross. Skip it if you have a weak stomach.
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6) The Smell
The stench of public restrooms is hard to describe, but we’ve all smelled it. It’s almost a mixture of damp, sweaty people with a faint urine and bleach smell. One of the most unpleasant smells ever. Some restrooms are nice and cleanly though and for that, I am truly thankful. (Side note: Have you ever noticed that Target’s bathroom’s after being cleaned smells like Froot Loops? That’s a conversation for another day.)

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7) The Insufficient Metal “Place Tampons Here Box”
Men won’t know what I’m talking about, but most women do. In women’s restrooms on the stall wall there’s a metal box that’s about six inches tall and eight inches wide with a tiny flap on top to open and dispose of your pads and tampons in. Problem is, one it can be tricky and messy. Two, very rarely do these boxes get emptied. Therefore, when you go to drop your used product in the bin, old bloody stuff pops out of the box at you making you wretch. This is why some women opt for menstrual cups which come with complications of their own.

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8) Lack of Changing Tables
As a mother, this is a big complaint of mine. In smaller businesses, they sometimes don’t have changing tables for babies. Usually, if they do, they’re not sanitary. Not to mention, there are almost zero places that offer changing tables in men’s restrooms. I have actually had to change my baby on top of his car seat before very carefully. We need more clean changing tables, please!

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9) Broken Stall Locks
The irritation I feel when I realize I’m in a stall with a broken lock is way higher than it should be. Briefly, I always think about Hulk-busting it off the hinges in a rage but that feeling subsides in less than half a second and then I just sigh and try to keep the door shut while I do what I have too. Still, how hard is it to fix a lock?

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10) No Door Hook
There is a reason that most bathroom stalls have a hook on the back of the door. Namely for items such as winter coats and purses. the lack of the hook means I have to either hold my purse in my lap or strategically balance it on top of the toilet paper holder. Super convenient if you have to change any kind of menstrual product. Make sure there is a hook on the restroom door. Again, how hard is it?!

This last part is just for your viewing pleasure and proof that public restrooms are the worst. This dude is just asking for some kind of super bug.
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