10 Reasons Women Hate Taking Showers
I know, I know. It sounds so weird, right? Who doesn’t like showers? We all like being clean, but the road to getting fresh and clean is the problem. Ten things that annoy the crap out of women about showering are as follows:
1) Accidentally Eating Face-wash
This sounds like a made up problem, but it’s unfortunately all to real for women who wash their faces in the shower. You will never hate anything with Jojoba beads in it more after you actually swallow one.
2) Shampoo in the Eye
Shampoo in the eye is no small problem. Burning your retina with the heat of a thousand suns, shampoo in the eye sucks just as bad as micro beads in your mouth.
3) Shaving the Land Down Under
Women know that there’s only a few ways to trim the bush. If you’re a shaver, there’s typically shave in the bathtub or shave in the shower, standing up. Women everywhere are balancing one leg and foot on the edge of the tub as they pray to the heavens that they don’t lose their balance. Not to mention, in the upright position it’s really difficult to see, so you have to feel your way around. More prayers go up as that razor gets close to the labia. The struggle is real, y’all.
4) The Blood Bath
Typically this happens only once a month, but no matter what mode of washing you choose, at some point there’s going to be red water somewhere. Even if a woman washes her entire body a million times, the dreaded red always comes back. Personally, I feel like Carrie every time I get in the shower during that time of the month. Was that too far? I’m sorry. (Totally not sorry.)
5) Hair Everywhere!
Women tend to have gobs of hair come out of their heads while in the shower. The ongoing struggle of this problem is and always will be, “What do I do with the hair?” Some women opt to swirl it around until it sticks on the wall. Some let it clog the drain. What should we do with the hair?! I don’t think we will ever know.
6) Running Out of Hot Water
This is a problem not just for women, but it tends to happen to women a lot more frequently since we tend to spend more time in the shower than men. It also never fails that the water runs cold without warning while you’re waiting for your conditioner to sit. At this point, options are rinse with cold water and freeze to death while bending over backward sucking in your butt, or just getting out and rinsing in the sink. Under desperate conditions, just get out and leave it in there. Un-rinsed conditioner and a bun never hurt anybody.
7) Too Many Products, Not Enough Time
Women have so many beauty products we use on a daily basis that it’s ridiculous. A lot of them require water for application or rinsing. So, many women do their beauty regimen in the shower to cut down on time, but it’s still a huge pain. Shout out to the women out there who stand in that shower with me in solidarity, face covered with face wash, conditioner sitting in the hair, while scrubbing your body and singing, waiting for the next thing you have to apply and rinse.
8) Clogged Drains
Standing in three feet of water is awesome when you’re in a swimming pool, but not so much when you’re in the shower. Clogged drains means all that nasty funk you just washed off of your body is now stuck on your lower legs and feet. Barf.
9) Having Only One Shower
Having only one shower to shower in is the worst, especially if you have a significant other who has to get ready at the same time you do. Showers all over America are ruined each day by poop smells. Stop dropping deuces while women are trying to shower! It’s our time to get clean and relax. How can you feel clean and relax when the room smells like poop?
10) Irrational Fears of Serial Killers
This is pretty self explanatory. Every woman in the back of her mind while rinsing out her hair with her eyes closed wonders, "Is today the day that the psycho serial killing clown will get me?" Irrational? Yes, but psycho clown is lying in wait somewhere, even if he's only in our minds.
More From WDKS-FM
